Mother's Day was last week, and I couldn't help but think about you most of the day. And the days that followed. Your 9 month old self didn't really prepare anything special for me, but your Daddy helped you out.
You, my Noley Poley, fulfilled a deep longing of my heart. For as long as I can remember, my answer to the- what do you want to be when you grow up- question has always been a mom. If God gives you siblings, I know I'll be crazy about them like I am you, but you, baby boy, made me a Mama.
You soften my heart and regularly explode my understanding of love. You melt my heart with your cheesin' grins and eager giggles. I love the way you say, "Mamamamamama," when you reeeeeally need me. You make life richer and fuller.
You've also frustrated me and driven me bananas some days. You've made me doubt my ability to be good enough for you. You've made me surrender my idea of what I thought this was going to look like for us and embrace what is ours. You've taught me to cherish today. To really enjoy what is ours today.
Baby, you are growing fast. You'll be turning 1 before I know it. I've been working real hard to make sure I savor your soft, full cheeks and to rub your leg rolls daily. I've stopped rushing our nap time routine because the days are numbered of you laying that sweet head on my chest as you snuggle in for some sleep. You won't always kiss me open mouthed. You won't always choose me to dry your tears.
I'll always remember this first year. The year I became a Mama. The year you pushed me to rely on Jesus more. To surrender more. To trust more. The year you made me feel confident that this is what I was created for all the while feeling insecure at times that I was doing it wrong. Chunky Monkey, I'm so happy you are the baby that made me a Mama. I wouldn't pick anyone else.
I sure do love you, Nolan. More than you could possibly imagine. And I love being your mom!
