This past year has been a big year for the Tomberlins. And this post won't be a good summation of that year but some big things that are sticking with me from 2014.
On Being A Mom
I'm a few days shy of completing my first full calendar year as a mom. Being Nolan's mom is one of the greatest joys of my life. But it's certainly not always easy. Those evenings when Nolan wants nothing but to be held by me while I need to cook dinner. Or when he doesn't like the meal I just made. Or when he closes his eyes while I'm trying to correct him-- those moments don't feel magical and beautiful. They are trying and annoying. What is beautiful and delightful is knowing Nolan feels safest with me. That we've cultivated a relationship that is unique and special and ours.
I've learned in this year of parenting that most moms are doing the best they can. And all of us are trying to get this thing right. So when my friend tells me their kid goes to bed at 9? Cool. That's probably what's best for your family. My kid needs to be in bed at 7:30 for everyone's sanity. You only feed your family organic food? Right on. That's what's best for your family. You don't spank? You do spank? You don't let your kids have sugar? You still feed your 18 month old during the night? You think naps are overrated? Right on, Sister! You keep doing what's best for your family.
I've been the recipient of critical statements about some of the choices I'm making as a parent. While I can still be offended at times, I usually remind myself that we're all doing the best we can. I have such greater compassion and grace and understanding for all of the moms and dads trying to figure out what's best. And of course everyone's best choice for their family looks different. But you won't find judgement here. Only grace.
On Being Adam's Wife
Man, 2014 provided so many growing opportunities for our marriage. Moving across the country. Living with my parents. Job hunting. Moving again. Church hunting. It's been a wild ride. I actually wrote a post early this year about how marriage is hard sometimes. Our marriage felt hard at times. Thankfully, the bulk of 2014 was really, really good for us. I felt like more than any other year (all 3 of them), we were a team. I know this may sound ridiculous, but something about that 2 week road trip across the country made me fall more in love with Adam.
I have strong opinions and convictions. Duh. I'm a Rodriguez. I often don't mind blazing the trail when it comes to those convictions. This year, I had real practice on submitting to Adam. On letting Adam lead our family as the head of our household. On choosing to listen to him and follow him. Even when I disagreed with his decision. It was hard for me to surrender this decision to the Lord and trust His leading in Adam. And it's still been hard to not look back on that decision and wonder. But even if this instance of submitting led to a decision I didn't like, I know affirming and respecting Adam's leadership is important. I do want him to feel confident that where he goes, I'm going too.
On Looking For A Church
Oh my gosh. Let's talk exhaustion. We didn't have a church we were plugged into in Seattle. We left one of the most unchurched regions of the country and came to the land of churches aplenty. Yet here we are, 8 months after arriving in Georgia, and we've still not settled in somewhere. I feel strongly about not being a consumer, walking into churches with a checklist to see who will best fit my needs. Because that's not what the Church is.
I have a whole bunch of thoughts on church but this isn't the time or place to start that conversation. But it's one of the things that really sticks out to me about 2014. I feel like we've been wanderers. We're ready and eager to commit and settle in with a body of believers, but the searching has been such a struggle. And it's WAY worse with a kid. He's going in and out of different nurseries. Like a champ, I might add. But it's so important to me that we find a church and get plugged in.
We went to a baptism service recently. Everyone getting baptized was 7-12 years old. All of them made introduction videos about why they wanted to get baptized. ALL of them made a reference to one or both of their parents being influential in their faith decisions. And most of them talked about someone from church who also played a role in their decision. And I want that for Nolan, Simba, and all future Tomberlins- a church family that's coming alongside Adam and I as we do our best to point our kids to Jesus.
On Being Back Home
Leaving Seattle was harder than I thought it would be. When I agreed to Adam's pleas and logic to move, I was pretty burnt out. Leaving seemed mostly inconsequential. I pictured us moving back to the south and finding ourselves perfectly happy in every sense of the word. Okay, no, not perfectly happy. But it would surely be a quick fix. Turns out, I missed the life we established for ourselves in Seattle. And adjusting to life back home took time.
Finding balance between two families who love us took effort. Life without coaching was weird and foreign. Being in transition for so long was tiring. BUT having family (lots of it) around us has been amazing! I take great delight in seeing Nolan's budding relationships with his cousins. As in, he's obsessed with them. I love that he knows his grandparents and feels safe with them. I appreciate dinners at our parents' houses. I know I have eager babysitters within our families. Moving back was a good thing for our growing family. And I'm thankful to be so dearly loved by both sides of our family.
2014...
was a good year. I got to celebrate my baby's first birthday AND find out another baby is on the way. I had the best time driving across the country with my best friend. I only got on an airplane once the entire year. ONCE. I eat Chick-fil-a about once a week, and I hope that never stops. I had an amazing week at the beach with my family, cousins included. My team won FCC Nationals. There were a lot of good things about 2014. It's hard to believe that we're really about to cross into another year. That we really lived life here in Georgia for 8 months to be the bulk of 2014. Crazy.
I'm thankful for what 2014 held for us.
The good, the bad, the hard, and the wonderful.
I'm excited for 2015.
Tomberlins party of 4, here we come!
