Happy Birthday, Nolan

My Most Loved Noley Poley,

It's your birthday, baby boy. You are a fresh faced one year old. You've grown and changed so much in the last year that I have a hard time remembering your littleness. Last night I spent time looking at pictures and videos of your tiny days, and my heart ached a little at how hard it was for me to recall your baby babble and sleepy stretches. Everything about your baby self was just so captivating. 

And now. Now you are crossing over into toddlerhood. You're walking and shaking your head no. You're exploring everything. You have opinions about what you want to eat and what you absolutely do not want to eat. The growing and changing may be slower than it was in your first year, but it's definitely still happening. 

You've also grown and changed me, Nolan. This first year of yours was my first year of motherhood, too. God's used you to shape me, refine me, and love me. Your tiny self brought me to my knees, humbled and surrendered before our Big God. Your smiles and laughs brought me inexplicable joy. Your desire to be near me, to be held, has me wanting to draw close to my Savior. Your absolute trust in me has challenged me to wholly trust Jesus. 

As you cross into toddlerhood, I can't help but realize that you're going to require a lot more parenting in the coming days. Your daddy and I are going to be training you, guiding you, and hopefully pointing you to Jesus. I'm praying that you grow to be a man of integrity and respect. That you are a leader among leaders for the way you follow after Jesus. That you are generous and kind. That you are noble, just like your name means. 

Last night as I gave you your bottle before bed, I couldn't stop the cascade of tears streaming down my face. I don't think I was sad. Okay, maybe I was a little sad. But I'm just so grateful that YOU came into my life. I'm so thankful I get to be your mom, and that I get to spend hours and hours with you each day.  You are a joy bringer with that adorable smile and belly laugh. You are a delight to love and cuddle. You are so fun, so curious, and so silly. You never tire of outside or playing with balls and balloons. You are very much a little boy. 

But those 2 minutes after each nap and every morning, when you wrap those Noley arms around my neck, weaving your fingers in my hair, and resting your head against mine, face to face...I live for those minutes. I will always love you, baby boy. There's nothing you could do or say to change that. 

Happy Birthday, big boy!! I'm thrilled and honored to celebrate your life. 

Love, 

Your Mama

PS. I know I'll NEVER let you forget this, but I was in labor for literally 72 hours with you. Three. Straight. Days. Worth every second of it. 

Creating Legacies

The combination of having a child and living so close to family has caused me to really think about the things I most value and if I'm living in such a way that it will be obvious to my children. Adam and I both came from loving, whole families, which is becoming more and more rare these days. We get to watch and learn and reflect on the legacies being created right before our eyes. 

One thing that I highly value and appreciate about my parents is their emphasis on whole family time and vacations. We've been on some pretty awesome family vacations- Hawaii, Costa Rica, Cancun, Tahoe. But the weeks at the Florida and South Carolina beaches are just as memorable and meaningful as the more extravagant ones. 

When we first moved to Atlanta, my mom worked at my dad's store to save money for us to go to the Grand Canyon and Colorado. How self sacrificing! That was our first ever big family vacation, and it was awesome. I still remember my sister on the airplane asking, "Are we about to blast off?" 

Because these vacations aren't about seeing cool places (but it's really a fantastic bonus). They're about creating family memories and strengthening the bond we have with one another. These vacations were obviously easier to pull off when we all lived at home. But my parents have continued to make it a point to get all of us together for family vacations. And I love it! 

We just had a weekend at the lake with everyone after also having a week at the beach in May. Nolan's budding relationships with his cousins makes me ridiculously happy. A full house filled with chaos makes me almost giddy. I recognize that my love for family time is part of what my parents are passing down to me (hopefully my siblings as well). Being intentional about coming together is something I highly value. And it's something that's been modeled to me for much of my life. 

It's caused me to think about what we're living out for Nolan right now. What is he going to notice that is especially important to us that could potentially become especially important to him. As we're praying about our next steps, I hope we realize we're living out a legacy. Adam and I have been examining how we're using this life, how we're living out our faith. We say we want to live Jesus centered lives, but what does that look like? It's prodding good conversations and pushing us to action. I'm thankful for that. 

I'm thankful we have parents who are passing on legacies that are worth so much more than riches. I'm hoping we can be faithful with what's been deposited into us as we sow into our children the things that really matter. 

But for real, this cousin love makes me happy!