My Nolan

Oh Nolan,

You are four! And something about you absolutely seems different. I don't know if it's because you're lean and trim, with no trace of baby fat. Or maybe it's the way you talk. I don't know. But you seem older, my little man. 

I can't believe I'm sending you to preschool next month. Though, you don't like to talk about it at all. I know for sure that you are going to love it. I know you are going to grow and learn and develop so much. I also know that you're going to love your teacher. I'm both so excited and so torn about sharing you with her. Once this crazy school phase starts, it feels like there's no going back. You really are crossing over into little boyhood instead of hanging onto toddlerhood.

This last week at the lake, you jumped off the dock and the boat, enjoyed boat rides, and looked...free. Like the fear that can so easily weigh you down, leaving you paralyzed, was lifted. You would still look for reassurance every once in a while that your float would make you pop right back up after jumping in, but for the most part, you just played. I can't tell you how happy I was FOR you. When you were sitting at the front of the boat with your face in the wind, I wanted to memorize your joy-filled face. It was amazing, Nolan!

Your inclination to pray for people at any given moment is so precious and dear. Your desire to welcome people into our home is one of my favorite things about you. You've decided you love helping me bake, and I hope this is something we can enjoy doing more the older you get. I love seeing glimpses of your tender heart towards others. 

Three year old Nolan was no walk in the park, my son. Parenting you was humbling. I questioned myself over and over. I wondered where you and I were missing each other. But I never, ever wavered in my love for you, Buddy. Three year old Nolan drew me closer to Jesus, and I should probably thank you for that some day. Having said all of that, I'm hopeful that this next year together is not quite as exhausting. 

Nolan Alex Tomberlin, I love you so much. Your smile lights up the room. Your laugh is contagious. Your genuine enthusiasm in pretty much anything is a gift! I hope you always appreciate the little things. You are a runner and an athlete. You love helping Daddy with his tools and doing "man things." You have an eye for cars, and it's sometimes still astounding. You are a smart boy, Nolan! 

I love you. I like you. I enjoy you, and I'm proud of you, son.

Love,
Mommy

Four

Nolan Alex Tomberlin is 4 years old. Four years ago he came into the world, and it was a grueling 3 days to make that happen. The doctors concluded that Nolan got stuck right at my pelvic bone because his head just would not mold to the birth canal to make for an easy delivery. Basically, he's been hard headed (LITERALLY) since birth. The doctor had to use a vacuum to get him out, and everyone commented that it was unbelievable that his head looked absolutely perfect- no cone shape, no signs of me pushing for THREE HOURS. Because- that is Nolan Tomberlin, people. Thick skulled. 

Nolan gets compliments and comments and copious amount of attention because of that head of hair. Everywhere we go people always talk about his hair. And, it is awesome, but he is starting to mention that he'd like short hair like his Daddy. I'm not sure at what point I'll let him make that decision, but I can assure you it's not today!

This was Nolan's reaction when I told him we needed to leave the lake where his cousins currently were. Nolan is still just as impressed and obsessed with Ryann, Alee, Valor, and Hope gets thrown in there because she's part of the package. It's odd to me but also precious how much he loves them. We spent two nights in North Carolina last month, he did this same thing when I told him we were leaving. 

Nolan and Isaac. Nolan is growing more and more fond of Isaac's constant presence but is so easily annoyed with him it's unreal. It's like he wants Isaac close but only in the exact way he's thinking in his mind. Since they started sharing a room 5 months ago, I've definitely seen Nolan's affection for his brother increase. Unprovoked, he will hug Isaac, try to comfort him, and protect him. But he will also shove him off the ottoman faster than you can blink. Is this just brothers? I don't know. 

One thing I absolutely love about Nolan is his unbridled joy for the simple things. His delight in popsicles or a song that he loves coming on the radio or seeing a construction site in action or his dad's sneak attack wrestling moves- it all can easily send him into an absolute fit of joy. I treasure this about him. 

Nolan is still napping every day- THANKYOUJESUS! He has turned into a pretty decent eater, though he certainly judges a meal by the way it looks. If I can get him to take a bite, he usually has no problem finishing it. He still loves hotdogs and fries. I cannot think of a fruit he doesn't love. His current favorite is peaches. He loves Life cereal, and I love the simplicity of that! As of late, he does not tire of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and for that I must again say- THANKYOUJESUS! 

Nolan is Mr. Hospitality! It is so close to one of my favorite things about him. I hope we can encourage him in this! He is so quick to invite people to stay and eat, ask if they are hungry, etc. When other people are in our home, Nolan is the most selfless version of himself. It's almost shocking to see someone so young be so effortlessly intentional- is that possible? As a mom, I can only hope this means Nolan is always asking his friends over to our house. 

Without question, this past year has been the most humbling year mainly because of the force that is Nolan Tomberlin. I have a feeling there's a lot more to come, too. I love being his mom, but there are definitely days that I feel like he deserves better! And there are days that I want to cry because I just want to have fun with him but instead it feels like constant correcting. There are days of wondering, "Is actually anything getting through to him? Is anything sticking?" And then, I get to see that some of the most important things are. 

Today, at Chick-Fil-A, Isaac was nervous about the costumed cow being out. He kept looking around for it. Nolan started singing, "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." He looked at Isaac and said, "Isaac. That's about God's love. Because God's love makes fear go away! Say no to fear!" I smiled and high-fived the kid in my head. And he of course went on to say, "Punch fear in the eyeballs!" Because that is my 4 year old, Nolan Alex Tomberlin.