My Nolan

Oh Nolan,

You are four! And something about you absolutely seems different. I don't know if it's because you're lean and trim, with no trace of baby fat. Or maybe it's the way you talk. I don't know. But you seem older, my little man. 

I can't believe I'm sending you to preschool next month. Though, you don't like to talk about it at all. I know for sure that you are going to love it. I know you are going to grow and learn and develop so much. I also know that you're going to love your teacher. I'm both so excited and so torn about sharing you with her. Once this crazy school phase starts, it feels like there's no going back. You really are crossing over into little boyhood instead of hanging onto toddlerhood.

This last week at the lake, you jumped off the dock and the boat, enjoyed boat rides, and looked...free. Like the fear that can so easily weigh you down, leaving you paralyzed, was lifted. You would still look for reassurance every once in a while that your float would make you pop right back up after jumping in, but for the most part, you just played. I can't tell you how happy I was FOR you. When you were sitting at the front of the boat with your face in the wind, I wanted to memorize your joy-filled face. It was amazing, Nolan!

Your inclination to pray for people at any given moment is so precious and dear. Your desire to welcome people into our home is one of my favorite things about you. You've decided you love helping me bake, and I hope this is something we can enjoy doing more the older you get. I love seeing glimpses of your tender heart towards others. 

Three year old Nolan was no walk in the park, my son. Parenting you was humbling. I questioned myself over and over. I wondered where you and I were missing each other. But I never, ever wavered in my love for you, Buddy. Three year old Nolan drew me closer to Jesus, and I should probably thank you for that some day. Having said all of that, I'm hopeful that this next year together is not quite as exhausting. 

Nolan Alex Tomberlin, I love you so much. Your smile lights up the room. Your laugh is contagious. Your genuine enthusiasm in pretty much anything is a gift! I hope you always appreciate the little things. You are a runner and an athlete. You love helping Daddy with his tools and doing "man things." You have an eye for cars, and it's sometimes still astounding. You are a smart boy, Nolan! 

I love you. I like you. I enjoy you, and I'm proud of you, son.

Love,
Mommy