To My Daughter

 My Elliana Joy,

I don't even know where to begin. There's so many words that I could say to you as I reflect on your first year of life and ponder all that you are and all that I hope for you. I don't have the raw writing gift that my siblings do to be able to eloquently sum up all the things in a polished little note. And honestly, that feels appropriate. The beauty that you are and the sacredness that this year has been can't fit here. 

You are an immeasurable gift to our family. The little girl we never knew we needed. I was fully prepared and excited to move forward in life with all boys- it felt right and good for our family. But you. You came, and now I can't fathom this family without a little sister. You evoke tenderness from all of us, and we can't help but oh and ah over you. Your daddy and I feel so blessed that we get to have you as our daughter. 

You won't ever be able to fully understand the circumstances in which you came to be, but let me tell you, Boo, we walked through some valleys and darkness and heartache and sorrows that at times felt so overwhelming and consuming. Though we longed to be full of hope week after week after week of you in my belly, our hearts were weary and hesitant. Over and over we asked God for faith in every area we lacked and begged God that His will for us was your LIFE bringing Him glory. We limped towards your arrival last year.

But oh my goodness. Elliana. You were and are so much more than we ever asked for. 

You have filled our lives and our home with such laughter and such delight. There has been no such thing as a small milestone over here. The first smile, the first time you rolled, the first time you babbled, the first time you picked your head up- all of it was met with celebration and thrill. You were the star of the show this year, baby girl. We never tired of you, even for a moment. 

You took the longest to sleep through the night, and I remember telling your dad, "I don't even care." And I meant it. Having your little self settle into its most peaceful state while in my arms, I craved it. 

You, my only daughter, are the most beautiful and precious girl I've ever laid eyes on. I look into your dark brown eyes, trace your soft but full cheeks and marvel at your beauty. I consider it such an honor that you will call me Momma. Elliana, you are a joy I didn't deserve but will for all of my days be so grateful that God entrusted you into our care. 

I love you, Elliana Joy. 

Love,

Momma