School's Out For the Summer

Yesterday was my first official day of summer vacation. The kids finished last Friday, but I had to clean out my room this week. This time, Adam wasn't around to keep me company or to help. 


On the last day of school, I showed a video I put together of our year, and I invited the parents to come watch with the class. I took so many pictures over the course of the year, and I knew the parents would love seeing a glimpse into our year together. The kids, naturally, thought it was awesome to see themselves on the tv. 


As I watched it with them, I got a little sad, though it's been a far more challenging group of kiddos than last year's group. I will miss them. I looked at their sweet faces and couldn't help but think, "I could've done better." 


I could've done better.


I could've been more patient, answered more kindly. I could have given of myself even more and made sure I gave them the best possible preschool experience. I would often ration my patience for the whole day because I work with preschoolers, 3rd graders, 4th graders, 6th graders, and high schoolers on any given day. This year's schedule was all over the place for me. 


And it hasn't been until literally the weekend after the last day of school that I realized it was so silly of me to try to ration anything. Because Jesus is enough. And He's all that we need. 


Our pastor talks about how he'll simply say, "Jesus, I receive your strength," if he's feeling particularly weak. Or whatever he feels he's lacking, he looks to Jesus and looks to receive it in fullness. From the Source that never runs dry, that never gives up, and that is never lacking. 


I recalled this as I was flying to Georgia for a wedding. I was there for literally 26 hours. Awesome, huh? Since being married, I hate flying without Adam. And I was already feeling so drained from school ending and flat out too exhausted to make this trip happen. I was on the red eye, not sleeping. The flight was bumpy, and I was just so unsettled and feeling so anxious. I was hunched over on my tray table, singing into my arms, and praying for peace. I, too, said, "Jesus, I receive your peace for this moment." And I proceeded to say that probably 100 more times throughout the flight. 


But it made me think of all the times I would be struggling at school and not look to Jesus to be what I needed in that moment. So many times that I could've leaned more on His strength, His kindness, His compassion, and His love. 


So...note to self for next year! 


Until then, I'll allow myself some time to recover from the year I just had, and I'll look to Jesus to be everything I need.