2 Months Old

I'm not sure it's a bad thing, but it feels like it's been a very long time since my 1 month post. VERY LONG. Time is so complex and weird. In the same hour I can think, "I can't believe Isaac is only 2 months old," only to later think, "He's growing up too fast!" 

Nonetheless.

He's 2 months old. 

This sweet bear is sleeping through the night. Sometimes I even have to wake him up at 7. Other times he's up around 6:45. I do like the sleep, but I wish I had known when it was my last time feeding him in the night. I probably would've held him all night. Now, I'm totally assuming he'll still wake up in the night here and there. Nolan did that too. But it's not the same. I do absolutely love his first morning feeding and that first wake time. We're usually all by ourselves in the family room, and it's our most wonderful cuddle time. He'll lay on my chest, wide awake. I treasure it. 

The smiles- oh my gosh. I love them. I'll work ridiculously hard to get one from him if I have to. He is most smiley when he's supposed to be eating. He'll nurse for a little bit, and then stop to just smile and smile and smile at me. I don't love that it takes him FOREVER to eat, but honestly, he doesn't often get my undivided attention. So, I feel like he deserves some Mama time even if it's while he should be eating. 

Does this kid seem incredibly long or what?! When I weighed him a couple of days ago he was 12 pounds, 10 ounces. Almost up a full 5 pounds from birth. He continues to be a pretty laid back baby. Really, a very laid back baby. He does get easily overstimulated which affects his sleep. It's hard to keep overstimulation from happening at family events, of which there have been many lately. 

Isaac gets hiccups every day. He used to get them after every feeding, but he is doing better. Sometimes I'm able to nurse them out of him, but he gets them while nursing; so you see how this can turn into a vicious cycle? 

We have left both boys in the care of my parents twice for evening outings.  Getting both of them down is no easy task, but they did it!! Isaac has no problems taking a bottle from other people. But last time I tried to give him a bottle, he gagged and acted like he'd never done it before. 

Overall month 2 with Isaac was fun. He seems like more of a person now that he's smiling and interacting more. I did get mastitis, which did nothing for my feelings on breastfeeding. But I've recovered, and I don't hold it against Isaac. A surprising thing- Isaac still isn't great with a paci. Sometimes he'll suck on it hard, but other times he acts like he's so unfamiliar with the concept. 

I'm so torn about how time is progressing (as I've already mentioned). I know that I really love some of the baby stages coming up, but I am sad that his tiny-ness is leaving. I'm excited to see Nolan be able to enjoy Isaac more, but I look back at pictures from his first 2 weeks and wonder if I cherished them enough. I kept telling Adam that I wasn't wishing away the newborn stage, but I know that I love what's coming. It's so odd, this mommy gig. I take such delight in my boys' growth, but I know there's no going back. Isaac won't be like this for long. And as much as I want to stop and savor it, life is still happening. 

Adam and I looked back at pictures of Nolan as a baby, and my heart ached a little bit. And I'm sure it was for multiple reasons. These days and months and years are fleeting. Oh how I want to love my babies well! 

2 Under 2

My very scattered thoughts on life these days...

:: When we started telling people we were pregnant we frequently got the response, "Wow! You'll be busy!" And we are. Bedtime is kind of nutty. Getting both boys in and out of the car for errands is not a speedy thing right now. The mental gymnastics I go through to work out their schedules when planning things- it's a lot. But I still believe we're putting in the hard work now, and we WILL enjoy the fruits of our labor when our kiddos have built in besties. 

:: The transition was not easy on my little Nolan man. Which was in fact very hard on me. If I had to hear Adam say, "Mommy can't come right now she's feeding Isaac," one more time I thought I would burst. Now, that statement still gets said frequently, but Nolan seems to have adjusted to life with a little creature in our home. My heart still hurts when he pleads for me at bedtime, and I'm in the middle of getting Isaac down. Adam and I try to switch when possible, but it's just not always possible. 

:: I had no idea what kind of dad Adam would be when we got married, but man! I was surprised in the best way possible. He's amazing!! It's not just that he willingly helps in this parenting thing, he actually genuinely enjoys and takes great delight in Nolan (I'm sure Isaac will be included in this eventually). He looks forward to coming home to play with him, and I love him all the more for that. 

:: I saw something on the world wide web about this crazy, exhausting season of life. It said that in this time of life with my little ones, I'll never be more loved. All of the hugs, the kisses, the squeezes, the insisting on standing wrapped around my legs, the burrowing heads in my neck, the repeated (can I put a heavy emphasis on repeated?) calling out for Mommy- it's all short lived. Yes, I take deep breaths several times a day and remind myself that Nolan isn't even 2 yet. Ya, I sometimes complain about my aching back after wearing Isaac through church or errands. And yes, I do sometimes think about what it will be like to go to the bathroom without company. But I try to be in these moments. These days. I keep thinking about that thought. About how loved I am right now in this season of craziness. 

I wanted to cry at one point on my sister's wedding day because it was just not what I thought it would be like. Nolan was clingy. Isaac kinda depends on me for food. I didn't get to be in every moment with my sister because I have 2 very little people who kinda need me in big ways. But as Nolan and I walked down the aisle together I couldn't help but think, "How perfect is this moment!" And he didn't even get all the way without contesting it, but I got to hold my little boy's hand as he escorted me down the aisle. These are sweet times. Sweet and tiring. Sweet and trying. Sweet and sometimes all consuming. But it's worth it. 

:: Isaac started to smile at me on purpose yesterday, and it's amazing what a game changer that is!! I love it! If I needed to stand on my head to see that grin, I would. 

:: Isaac has started sleeping through the night off and on, which means it will probably be a consistent skill in a couple of weeks. And I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I actually will miss our middle of the night cuddle sessions. I don't have to feel guilty about snuggling that little boy when everyone else is asleep. I remember when I'd hear other moms say this I wanted to scream- LIAR!!! But now I get it. 

:: In conclusion, life with 2 under 2 is full!! There are times that I miss having loads of one on one time with Nolan. There are times when I think breastfeeding is for the birds. There are times that I wish Adam and I could go on a really long day date and pretend we're still spur of the moment people. And we just plain aren't. For right now. But we are so incredibly blessed with this life we have.