To My Precious 2 Year Old

Oh my Isaac Dean,

This past year sure did whiz by! One year old you was pretty much perfection! Ok, we all know that isn't true. No one year old is perfect, but gosh, you sure were close! And now you're two. TWO! 

You are full of personality, opinions, and belly laughs. You eat and eat and eat (except at breakfast), and you do it with enthusiasm. You still hold my hair and suck your thumb sideways. I really wouldn't have it any other way. Your squishy thighs are one of the best parts of my day, and I will squeeze them as long as I can. 

Isaac, you are the sweetest boy there is. I can't tell you how much joy and delight you bring our family. I love watching you play with Nolan or "pet" babies or read books by yourself. I love listening to you talk and sing. And just about the time you say, "No, sir," to Nolan, I could burst with laughter. I love feeling your hands on my face as you try to get my attention and my focus. I just love you so much, Isaac.

You are tough and determined. You can take a punch and just keep moving. You are daring and brave and willing to try new things. In fact, you help make Nolan more brave and daring. You are growing in independence, and I have mixed emotions about it. But I know it's good. You are turning into quite the little boy, my little love. I'm treasuring your littleness as I also try to encourage your bigness. It's tough! And boy is that feisty side of you showing up more and more! 

Isaac, I couldn't be happier to be your mom. Though you have a stubborn streak in you, I kind of knew that was inevitable. I love being home with you and getting a first row seat of your cuteness. You are lovable and adorable, so easy to enjoy! I love seeing your precious relationship with Nolan grow and strengthen, and I pray you two are buddies forever. 

I love you so much, Isaac. It's been SO FUN to celebrate wonderful you! Happy Birthday to my sweetest boy. I'll keep holding onto you as my baby for as long as I can. But, Isaac- welcome to 2! You're going to love it!

Love,
Mama

Throwing a Birthday Party For a Toddler

Yesterday we celebrated our dear Isaac Dean's birthday. He's two now and officially not a baby. Which means, potty training is on the horizon again. Which means, lots of little boy nakedness in my future. But anyways.

As it began to be time to plan a party for Isaac, I wanted to find that balance between- he's two years old and will never remember this and I love Isaac and birthdays so much, this needs to be a blast! 

Because I found that anytime I'm hosting or planning event, it can be a slippery slope of wanting to be creative and do things I love like crafts and bake but not do things with the hopes of being praised or recognized. I caught myself a few times wondering, "What's my motive behind this?" Because of all the Biblical counseling training, I've been able to recognize how my own heart can trick me. And even good things can have sinful intentions. 

We ultimately decided we'd do a cookout and to keep things super simple. Burgers, hotdogs, fruit, veggies, chips, and pasta salad. Done. We invited our family, our community group, and Adam's accountability group and hoped we'd have a great turnout because we genuinely love having people come together. 

I spent the majority of Saturday prepping for the party, and then we had to haul all the food and supplies to our neighborhood playground and haul it all back. It was a lot of hauling. But I stood back and snapped this picture at one point. 

It really and truly did not look like much. Not a pinterest quality party, if you will. But it was exactly what we were wanting. Friends and family and people that mean so much to us being together and playing and eating. I loved it. I kept pausing and watching kids play together and friends catching up, and I was thankful, so thankful, for this time together. All the baking (which I LOVED), all the grocery runs, and all the time spent to do this cookout- 100% worth it. Adam and I said repeatedly when it was over, "That was so great!" 

It was indeed Isaac's birthday party, but I also was mentally thinking of it as a celebration of different sorts. Friday we completed everything we needed to do in order to be certified for foster care. It's felt like a lot of work to push through to this point, and a lot of the people at Isaac's party were cheering us on the whole time. It felt right to have this gathering after reaching such a milestone. 

And now our family is on the brink of serious change. At our final home study on Friday, we were reminded again that fostering is going to inevitably mean some hard days are ahead of us. I'm not second guessing this decision, but I am choosing to savor this time together. I cried my eyes out on the final day before Isaac was born. There was a natural grieving of what we were about to lose. But it was certainly a thousand percent worth it. So, I hope I tell a similar story in the months to come, as I recognize our family is on the verge of another transition. 

It's so easy to want to hold onto my family so tightly, when I really need to hold onto Jesus. 

What a day celebrating Isaac! My heart is still so full after a wonderful time with everyone.