As it began to be time to plan a party for Isaac, I wanted to find that balance between- he's two years old and will never remember this and I love Isaac and birthdays so much, this needs to be a blast!
Because I found that anytime I'm hosting or planning event, it can be a slippery slope of wanting to be creative and do things I love like crafts and bake but not do things with the hopes of being praised or recognized. I caught myself a few times wondering, "What's my motive behind this?" Because of all the Biblical counseling training, I've been able to recognize how my own heart can trick me. And even good things can have sinful intentions.
We ultimately decided we'd do a cookout and to keep things super simple. Burgers, hotdogs, fruit, veggies, chips, and pasta salad. Done. We invited our family, our community group, and Adam's accountability group and hoped we'd have a great turnout because we genuinely love having people come together.
I spent the majority of Saturday prepping for the party, and then we had to haul all the food and supplies to our neighborhood playground and haul it all back. It was a lot of hauling. But I stood back and snapped this picture at one point.
It really and truly did not look like much. Not a pinterest quality party, if you will. But it was exactly what we were wanting. Friends and family and people that mean so much to us being together and playing and eating. I loved it. I kept pausing and watching kids play together and friends catching up, and I was thankful, so thankful, for this time together. All the baking (which I LOVED), all the grocery runs, and all the time spent to do this cookout- 100% worth it. Adam and I said repeatedly when it was over, "That was so great!"
It was indeed Isaac's birthday party, but I also was mentally thinking of it as a celebration of different sorts. Friday we completed everything we needed to do in order to be certified for foster care. It's felt like a lot of work to push through to this point, and a lot of the people at Isaac's party were cheering us on the whole time. It felt right to have this gathering after reaching such a milestone.
And now our family is on the brink of serious change. At our final home study on Friday, we were reminded again that fostering is going to inevitably mean some hard days are ahead of us. I'm not second guessing this decision, but I am choosing to savor this time together. I cried my eyes out on the final day before Isaac was born. There was a natural grieving of what we were about to lose. But it was certainly a thousand percent worth it. So, I hope I tell a similar story in the months to come, as I recognize our family is on the verge of another transition.
It's so easy to want to hold onto my family so tightly, when I really need to hold onto Jesus.
What a day celebrating Isaac! My heart is still so full after a wonderful time with everyone.
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