My Big 6 Year Old

Nolan,

You turned six years old last week. I thought it was weird last year when you got to start holding up a whole hand to show people how old you were, but now you need two hands. Two hands to hold up enough fingers to represent how old you are! 

I feel no sadness about this. I mean, when I look at pictures of you as a baby or young toddler, I quickly dissolve into a puddle. But I feel excited for you that you are six years old. You will be starting kindergarten in just over two weeks. You'll become big brother to one more in less time than that (please, Lord Jesus, let it be so). Shockingly, in this stage of late pregnancy, I'm not grieving your growth. I'm excited for you.

You are changing and growing so much right in front of me. You are coming into your own person more and more, and that person can be downright exasperating. But there's a small part of me that is so thankful that you are strong-willed and head strong. I don't have to wonder what you really like or what you're thinking. You let us know. You are quick to defend what you think is right, and you do not back down, even when it's obvious that you are wrong. These things about you can make me absolutely crazy, but I do know deep down, when you mature and hopefully grow in Christ, these could be such valuable traits. Your tenacity in sticking to your guns, that could be amazing! Right now, it brings me to my knees and sometimes makes me hide in the bathroom to eat a piece of very dark chocolate. 

Today was your final day of sports camp, your very first week of morning sports camp. Your name was called, signaling you that I was there to pick you up, and you came racing towards me with a big grin on your face. I'm confident the grin was your eagerness to tell me everything you did that day, but I admit I had tears spring to my eyes very suddenly. And it was for no other reason than I just love you so much. And watching your curls bounce as you ran with your lunchbox and water bottle, I just couldn't help but smile (and tear up) and wait for your hug at the end of that sprint.  

Gosh, you are a gift. You are so uniquely created and gifted, and I often wonder if I'm doing a good enough job helping you lean into your strengths as opposed to working on your weaknesses. I think it's something we'll be working on and arguing about for years to come. I'm grateful that God entrusted you to me and Daddy, and I'm praying this year your interest in the Bible and who God is continues to grow and grow. And hopefully over time, your heart becomes fully His.

I love you. I like you. I enjoy you. And I'm proud of you!

Love you, Buddy!
Mommy

S I X years old!

The boy who made me a Mama is six years old. Headed off to Kindergarten. Crazy! I've been reflecting on how doing something for 6 years should gird you with a certain amount of confidence in what you're doing. Not in parenting. Not for me at least. This kid keeps me oh so very humble. I do have compassion for him as the first child. So many mistakes have been made already when it comes to how we parent, and we keep learning on Nolan, and then doing a potentially better job with Isaac. 

Nolan still loves animals! He wanted a tiger cake for his birthday. He loves to read books and watch documentaries and shows about animals. He soaks up the animals facts like a sponge, and then he happily recalls them anytime, anywhere. He loves animals! As of right now, he says he wants to be a dolphin trainer one day.

Nolan finished Pre-K in May. He went to school 3 days a week, and he loved it. He loved doing worksheets and going to Spanish once a week. He was in class without his buddy this year, and I was shocked at how well he handled the uncertainty of not knowing anyone in his class. He of course made all sorts of friends throughout the year, and he always looked forward to his school days.

Nolan really is quite the athlete, and he's very interested in sports. He loves the Georgia Bulldogs and the Atlanta Falcons, but realistically, he'll happily watch just about any football game. He played basketball on a team for the first time. He really liked it, though it didn't come quite as naturally as soccer did. Once the season ended, he continued practicing his shot and still really, really enjoys playing Horse. He played soccer in the spring, and the most frequent comment made by onlookers, "He is so fast!" He really is so, so fast!

Nolan is also quite the puzzler! He enjoys doing puzzles and will happily work at one until he gets it. And then he doesn't mind doing the same puzzle over and over. It's a good inside activity for him, and I hope he continues to enjoy the challenge of putting together a puzzle. 

Nolan really does enjoy the outdoors and enjoys adventure. He likes climbing trees and rocks. He loves to explore areas, and I love this about him. I want him to enjoy being in nature and be in awe of what God has made. I've said for a couple of years that it's easiest to enjoy Nolan when we're outside exploring and adventuring. He just turns into a happier kid.

Nolan really does enjoy pushing boundaries and arguing. Adam will often say, "I can't wait for you to pay for our vacations with your loads of money from being an attorney!" He can be so hard headed, but I have to hope and pray that we will one day see what a good thing it can be to stand firm in what is right. I'd love for him to have strong convictions about what is right and wrong and be willing to relentlessly stand by those beliefs. It takes a lot of patience (not my strength) to train him to state his opinion in a respectful way. We've got a lot of work to do, but I do want him to know that I think it's great that he knows what he thinks is right. We just need to work on the delivery of those opinions. 

Nolan is a piece of work (aren't we all!), and I'm continually humbled by how much work I am still in need of. There's something about this kid that exposes the flesh in my own heart over and over and over. I do a lot of apologizing and asking for forgiveness when I just get it so wrong. I'm so thankful for this boy and can't wait to see him with his baby sister any day now. His smile still melts me, and I love watching him grow. I have less and less sadness about him getting bigger and older. I love seeing who he is becoming!

The Three Musketeers

For the last four years, it's been me and the boys doing life day in and day out. Some days have been really hard, and some days have been kinda magical. But most days are both. The days are filled with moments that are entirely forgettable (please!!), and then there are moments that feel worth all the hard. Honestly, I've felt that lately that balance is tipped not the way I want. 

In the last couple of months, I've tried to be intentional with our time. Especially when school was in, and I only had Nolan home two days a week. I knew that I wanted to fight for moments and experiences with them that they will likely never remember. But I might. And I know these experiences and togetherness won't necessarily make for concrete memories that they are able to recall, but I hope it evokes a feeling of belonging together. 

In a couple of years, I don't think Nolan and Isaac will remember the day we skipped Bible Study to go hike Sope Creek. But I hope the fact that I thought Nolan was brave enough to climb the hugest rock there gives him a tiny bit of lasting confidence that he CAN do hard things. And the fact that I stayed with Isaac throwing rock after rock after rock ensures him that I am interested in what he's interested in.

I don't think they'll remember the time we walked allllll of Leita Thompson with Mommy's big belly and had our picnic lunch on the lawn, praising ourselves for going the distance. But it might be a part of them believing that it's more fun and easier to do things together. Walking up those hills didn't seem quite as daunting, since we talked and laughed and Ispy-ed our way through it.

Gosh, in a few years, they might not be as eager to make their Daddy's birthday cake with me. But this year, they wanted every bit a part of celebrating our favorite guy. And the cake took approximately 12 times longer to finish with their "help," but it was worth it. Because us Tomberlins think celebrating the people we love is always a good idea. And this core value of ours must be learned. And I'm trusting they are learning as we do it together. But I don't think it's a memory that will stick out in their minds. They'll just know that we celebrate birthdays and love to make people feel special.

Now, I think they might remember the time we road tripped to see Daddy only because it started this delightful experience called Gas Station Treats. I let them get out and pick a treat from the gas station store after driving non-stop for four hours (impressive in my opinion- for the 4 and 5 year old AND the very pregnant Mommy). We really made a trip of it, going to see Adam's sister after our weekend with him, and Nolan exclaimed, "Mommy and the boys! We do it all together!" And I smiled, knowing these days are numbered. These days of just Mommy and the boys will be coming to a quick end, and it probably won't take long before we can't imagine life without our baby girl. 

These years have been filled with a lot of hard, too. I feel overwhelmingly discouraged many days with just how short I fall. I get so frustrated with the fighting, the provoking, and the whining. I have said desperately many times, "I just want to enjoy them!!" But the correcting can feel so consuming. In a microwave world that often lends itself to immediate results, parenting is nothing like that. Days and weeks and months of correcting over and over with little to no fruit can lead to despair if there is no hope that only the Holy Spirit can change hearts. So, I keep showing up, failing so often. Like all of the good times I know they'll forget, I hope they also will forget my moments of impatience, anger, and selfishness. 

Today I was in the kitchen cleaning up lunch, and they were in one of the front rooms coloring. They both were clearly quite impressed with their work, and they started saying, "I can't wait to show Mommy. She's going to be AMAZED!" I smiled at this, too. I am well aware that I do a lot wrong, but their confidence in my reaction to their coloring was encouraging. 

We are in the final month before Baby Nemo is due, and I'm wanting to squeeze out the goodness of these days. They won't remember it all, and Lord knows my memory fails me all the time. But the picnic lunches in the backyard just because, the books on the couch, the teamwork in the kitchen, the hours in the car- I hope and pray these moments are like building blocks. That we're laying a foundation that will forever impact them. 

There's big changes coming for these Three Musketeers. I'm thankful for the last 6 years when being Mama to my crew first started. I can't believe I get to start over with another little one soon. 

Baby Girl, we cannot wait to meet you!! But while we wait, we're going to go out with a bang being the Three Musketeers!