The Three Musketeers

For the last four years, it's been me and the boys doing life day in and day out. Some days have been really hard, and some days have been kinda magical. But most days are both. The days are filled with moments that are entirely forgettable (please!!), and then there are moments that feel worth all the hard. Honestly, I've felt that lately that balance is tipped not the way I want. 

In the last couple of months, I've tried to be intentional with our time. Especially when school was in, and I only had Nolan home two days a week. I knew that I wanted to fight for moments and experiences with them that they will likely never remember. But I might. And I know these experiences and togetherness won't necessarily make for concrete memories that they are able to recall, but I hope it evokes a feeling of belonging together. 

In a couple of years, I don't think Nolan and Isaac will remember the day we skipped Bible Study to go hike Sope Creek. But I hope the fact that I thought Nolan was brave enough to climb the hugest rock there gives him a tiny bit of lasting confidence that he CAN do hard things. And the fact that I stayed with Isaac throwing rock after rock after rock ensures him that I am interested in what he's interested in.

I don't think they'll remember the time we walked allllll of Leita Thompson with Mommy's big belly and had our picnic lunch on the lawn, praising ourselves for going the distance. But it might be a part of them believing that it's more fun and easier to do things together. Walking up those hills didn't seem quite as daunting, since we talked and laughed and Ispy-ed our way through it.

Gosh, in a few years, they might not be as eager to make their Daddy's birthday cake with me. But this year, they wanted every bit a part of celebrating our favorite guy. And the cake took approximately 12 times longer to finish with their "help," but it was worth it. Because us Tomberlins think celebrating the people we love is always a good idea. And this core value of ours must be learned. And I'm trusting they are learning as we do it together. But I don't think it's a memory that will stick out in their minds. They'll just know that we celebrate birthdays and love to make people feel special.

Now, I think they might remember the time we road tripped to see Daddy only because it started this delightful experience called Gas Station Treats. I let them get out and pick a treat from the gas station store after driving non-stop for four hours (impressive in my opinion- for the 4 and 5 year old AND the very pregnant Mommy). We really made a trip of it, going to see Adam's sister after our weekend with him, and Nolan exclaimed, "Mommy and the boys! We do it all together!" And I smiled, knowing these days are numbered. These days of just Mommy and the boys will be coming to a quick end, and it probably won't take long before we can't imagine life without our baby girl. 

These years have been filled with a lot of hard, too. I feel overwhelmingly discouraged many days with just how short I fall. I get so frustrated with the fighting, the provoking, and the whining. I have said desperately many times, "I just want to enjoy them!!" But the correcting can feel so consuming. In a microwave world that often lends itself to immediate results, parenting is nothing like that. Days and weeks and months of correcting over and over with little to no fruit can lead to despair if there is no hope that only the Holy Spirit can change hearts. So, I keep showing up, failing so often. Like all of the good times I know they'll forget, I hope they also will forget my moments of impatience, anger, and selfishness. 

Today I was in the kitchen cleaning up lunch, and they were in one of the front rooms coloring. They both were clearly quite impressed with their work, and they started saying, "I can't wait to show Mommy. She's going to be AMAZED!" I smiled at this, too. I am well aware that I do a lot wrong, but their confidence in my reaction to their coloring was encouraging. 

We are in the final month before Baby Nemo is due, and I'm wanting to squeeze out the goodness of these days. They won't remember it all, and Lord knows my memory fails me all the time. But the picnic lunches in the backyard just because, the books on the couch, the teamwork in the kitchen, the hours in the car- I hope and pray these moments are like building blocks. That we're laying a foundation that will forever impact them. 

There's big changes coming for these Three Musketeers. I'm thankful for the last 6 years when being Mama to my crew first started. I can't believe I get to start over with another little one soon. 

Baby Girl, we cannot wait to meet you!! But while we wait, we're going to go out with a bang being the Three Musketeers!