My Girl

 My Happy Big Girl,

You are two!! Which technically means, you are no longer a baby. But you most certainly are still my baby. You are perpetual sunshine and joy in this house, and we all love you so much. Sometimes when you are squealing with absolute glee while playing with your brothers and your Daddy, I will wonder, "What would we have done without her?" Because it seems like we all needed you here with us. 

I'm convinced that 1 year olds hold a special magic, and I think maybe you were the most magical of them all. Your one year old life was lived through hard days. The pandemic continued to at times smother us with fear, stress, and worry. But it was no match for your joy. Now, we have been fortunate that covid has not produced dire despair close to home, like it has for others. But the weight of these days was sometimes overwhelming. But then you would lay your little self against me, and you would settle that perfect head against my shoulder, grabbing my hair for security, and I would breathe you in. Deeply. Holding you close and rocking both of us. Daddy and I take turns putting you to bed each night, and I think we both needed those moments of slowing down to hold you close. It steadied us in the midst of so much darkness. 

We are all crazy about you. Your laugh. Your smile. The way you babble with so much certainty, though we have no clue what you are saying. You are so easy to love, so easy to enjoy. You are everyone's favorite girl, Elliana. 

We walked through a really hard season before you came into the world, and we walked through some more hard this year that has us holding onto you tight. For the first time, I felt sadness about this milestone of your life. I have delighted in every bit of your growth, just to the brim grateful that you were here with us. But I confess that I have felt sadness creep in as I watch you stomp right on out of the baby years and into more independence. While I know that I am actually so happy that you are healthy and capable to do that stomping, it has tugged on my mama heart differently this year. 

I know I won't always be the best part of your days, so I'm staying present right now, savoring who you are and storing up all these precious days and moments with you. Elliana Joy, you are a JOY and a delight. I couldn't love you more. 

I want to give you a bear hug!! I love you, big girl. Always and forever!

Love,

Mommy