Humbled

Back in August- last year- I went to Seattle to do a mini-camp. I got to be here 4 days for free basically. It was delightful. This was in the midst of some not so great times, and one evening I drove to Lake Washington (on accident). I stumbled upon a beautiful sunset that took my breath away. I prayed that day that I just wanted to be near God. And then that happened.

I cried as I sat on top of that hill and did nothing but take in the beauty of the Lord. I did not rush from that place, but I just sat there. Since that day, I've had a picture of the sunset taped in several places to remind me of the faithfulness of God. That evening, a part of me knew that I would be back in Seattle.

That back drop is necessary for me to continue.

Today was kind of a rough day. I left the house at 6:38 am, and I got back at 6:08 pm. It was a long day not just because I was gone for about 12 hours, but the day itself was just not smooth.

Staff devotions were a joke...again.

My 4 year olds class was going fairly well until their recess got moved in doors- a pretty normal thing for Seattle. After playing with play dough and eating a snack, an understood chaos fell over my classroom. Let me clarify- the kids all understood; I did not. I wasn't sure what came over my preschoolers, but they turned into circus performers.

My 6th grade P.E. class was a delight. 5 points for them.

The staff meeting- no comment.

The commute- yikes.

I had some disappointing stops along the way, and the last thing I wanted to do was be around people. But my host family was expecting me for dinner, and so I walked in the door with a weary smile on my face.

I left soon after dinner to go on a walk and regroup. I'm exhausted. I'm fighting sickness. I'm almost perpetually around people, and that's not good for me. I'm eager to find a permanent place to live, but I'm a little hesitant to commit to an apartment (NO wonder I struggle in relationships- haha).

As I was walking, I caught a glimpse of some spectacular color in the sky. I kept walking until I found a good spot to sit back and behold God's glory. Within minutes I was seeing the sky turn brilliant yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples. It was beautiful.

I sat and was reminded of that hilltop experience a little over a year ago. Once again I was reminded of the faithfulness of God. I was reminded that God is majestic and glorious. That even the heavens declare His greatness. And an overwhelming desire came over me to be an open sky on which God paints His glorious sunsets. That I would be used to display His power, His creativity, and His faithfulness.

I am humbled that I get to be in communion with a holy God who sets His glory in the sky yet dwells with the brokenhearted. I continue to be amazed at the bigness and wholeness of my God. His attributes are not all parts of the whole. It's not a circle that has equally divided parts like when kids are first learning fractions in math. He is wholly gracious. Wholly just. Wholly merciful. Wholly faithful. And the list goes on.

And my desire is to simply be wholly His.