There were a couple nights last week when I went to bed at or a little before 10. I've just been exhausted as I try to get over this sickness that's hanging on and be ready for preschool each day and coach 2 teams and prepare for a side choreography job and find a place to live. Gosh. I'm ready for a nap.
The good news is that preschool is starting to feel a little more natural, coaching is natural, and I've found a place to live! Once I'm in my own place, I am hopeful that there will be a little more of a settled feeling in my life.
I'm still in the midst of finding a church to call "home." But one of the requirements of where I teach is going to the church that's associated with the school twice a month. I was required to be there last Sunday for Educator's Sunday (funny), and I decided to go back today to, in all honesty, get the 2nd one over with.
This week the service was about embryo adoption. This church has a new ministry to help parents who are unable to conceive to adopt an embryo. I had not really heard of this whole process until a couple of weeks ago. The concept of embryo adoption is still being processed in my mind.
When people try for in vitro fertilisation, there is typically several embryos that never get used. Couples have the option of donating them to science or allowing them to be adopted. Either way, from my limited understanding, the embryos go into a freezer to be stored until later use. They showed a news clip of a couple who did the embryo adoption, and their daughter is now 6 years old.
They highlighted 3 families at church that day who had children that used to be frozen. [Side note: I couldn't believe how upsetting it was to me that they casually referred to these children as freezer babies. They would say, "Their daughter was frozen for 4 years..." ] And then they brought on the stage the first family that this church helped go through the embryo adoption process. They brought up their baby, and they shared their story.
The church was very clear that they were not endorsing the fact that these embryos are created in such excess, but they are trying to make good come from the situation.
There are literally thousands of embryos frozen all over the country. Which, I think if you had asked me prior to today, I would have said, "Yes, I know that." But now my understanding of it all has broadened a little bit.
I was in my seat, crying, because I was looking at these 5 children, trying to wrap my brain around the fact that they were frozen at one point. And there are thousands more embryos in a freezer. Seeing these kids, it just broke my heart. And I just don't know what to do with this reality- there are probably thousands of lives that will never live.
I left church and went directly to a park to walk and try to understand what I had just heard. And figure out what I'm supposed to do with the information. Because right now, it just makes me sad. Deeply, deeply sad.
I was talking with people after church, and they were processing out loud, while I was processing internally. But they asked, "Why would someone adopt an embryo when there's tons of kids who have been born already that need homes?" And thankfully, someone else chimed in saying, "If we believe life happens at conception, than we should value the life of that embryo too!"
But I just don't understand. The fact that these embryos exist outside of the way God designed them to is mind boggling in itself. But I just need some help. What would most honor God in this mess? Is the answer to stop having so many embryos created? Is the answer to have all of them adopted?
All I know is that when I look at these children who were once frozen, it pains my heart to think of all of the other delightful children that could be in this world but instead are frozen.
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