Self Esteem Boost

Some moments in my 3s class I'm at the end of my patience, and then 30 seconds later, I'm laughing out loud. It's normal to swing between these two places. And it makes it both exhausting and entertaining.

Today, I was demonstrating how I wanted them to paint a rainbow with the watercolors. Mind you, it's perfectly normal for me to demonstrate each project we do. I painted the red, orange, yellow, and I was working on the green. One of my little guys who speaks Russian says, "Miss Rodriguez, that is awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesome. Just so cool. You do so good!"

I picked my head up to see what the expression on his face seemed to be. He appeared to be completely genuine; I therefore did not want to burst into uncontrollable laughter. I smiled and said, "Thanks, buddy!" He just nodded and watched me very intently as I continued to paint.

So, in case I was questioning my ability to paint a computer generated rainbow with watercolors, I'm reassured that I am more than competent. Clearly I'm awesome at it.

And clearly I use the word "awesome" quite frequently to praise their work.

Public Declaration

For years I've been drawn to the idea of adoption. I can remember being in high school, confident that I wanted to adopt when I was older. There is a deep place in me that feels called to love unwanted and forgotten children. Now, I realize that some people put their child up for adoption because they love their baby so much that releasing them into someone else's care is the greatest form of sacrificial love they can show. But let's be honest, there's plenty of stories not involving sacrificial love.

The older I get and the closer I become to having a family, the desire to adopt is only growing. Dare I say it may even be part of my calling.

I can remember quite vividly when I was in Thailand having this picture in my head of a big house on a piece of land with broken children scattered about outside the house. And I would mentally stare at that picture, longing to bring those children inside the house. My house.

The year leading up to my move to Seattle was quite unique. I spent several nights in my basement playing my keyboard and spending time with the Lord. When I had nothing to pray, I would play and let the cries of my heart come forth. I was downstairs playing one time, and I had a similar, vivid picture. It was a large house in a beautiful place and the words restore, redeem, renew, and rejoice were written in the house. That was what the house was for- restoration, redemption, renewal, rejoicing, and ultimately releasing. And I could see children, teenagers, and young adults all around the house. I longed, once again, to bring them in.

As I've been on this journey with my boyfriend, and we continue to get more and more serious, the issue of adoption has come up a few times. The first time, I just casually mentioned that I wanted to adopt, and that I wanted a big family. The second time, I mentioned that I would love for my adopted kids to outnumber the kids I birthed. Then I finally just said that I would be okay with not personally birthing any children, but adopting all my kids. [yes, I know this could change.] Boyfriend has been able to track with me up until the last doozie. He wants a big family, has no objections to adoption (though he has no idea how those adoptions will be funded), and is totally cool with the idea of adopting several children. The last one...we may or may not argue about that later.

Adam, boyfriend, is a defender and protector by nature. He hates injustice on any scale. When Delta messed up my flight, whoa buddy! He went to work making sure that situation was made right. He literally didn't sit down until the problem was fixed. That would be a minor example. He longs to defend the rights and innocence of children suffering from injustice. This desire runs just as deep in him as does my desire to love unwanted and forgotten children. There is a very real anger that rises up in him when he thinks about human trafficking.

We can't help but wonder if God is going to wed these two things together. And obviously we would be included in that wedding process.

I publicly declare, I want to adopt or at least position myself to open my home and my heart to love unwanted children. I do not know what this will look like. I do not know if this will happen in the States. I do not know much. I do know that God has been cultivating and growing this within me for years.

Isaiah 58:6-11

"Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
⁷Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
⁸ Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
⁹Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.'
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
¹⁰ if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
¹¹And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall belike a watered garden,
like a spring of water,

whose waters do not fail.

Ambushed

Teacher appreciation week is overwhelming!!

Everyday my students were bringing in gifts, and I just did NOT know what to do with myself. I am their preschool teacher. I mean, I personally value my time with them, but some of these parents went WAY above and WAY beyond with their outpouring of love and appreciation. I wish my camera was working so I could take a picture of my bounty.

13 kids brought me flowers. For a one bedroom apartment, that's a LOT of flowers!! It was quite interesting getting them all home too. Some of them are still at work because I just could not get them all safely transported.

I got cookbooks, gift cards, flip flops (these people know me well!), baked goods, storybooks, craft supplies, and a wide variety of other gift items. It was unbelievable. On Friday right before class was ending, all of the parents of my 4s class showed up to bless me with a gift basket and to say thank you. It was very kind. The kids were so cute because they thought it was my birthday each day. One little boy kept asking, "How old are you now, Miss Rodriguez?" He did not understand why I was getting so many presents if it was not my birthday!

Yesterday was also our West Fest carnival. The school sets up a carnival for the elementary students. My cheerleaders had 2 booths. Most of the other athletic teams had booths, as did clubs, classes, and ministries of the school. It was super fun! And totally sunny. I got sunburned!! I tried to get all of my preschoolers to come, and I saw SO MANY of them. It was wonderful. Some of them are genuinely confused to see me outside of my classroom, but most of them were genuinely excited to see their teacher dressed like a cowgirl at the carnival.

We have 3 weeks of school left. I'll see my 3s class 6 more times, and my 4s class 8 more times. When I think about it like that- it's unreal. My time with them is dwindling fast. Don't get me wrong: I'm PUMPED for summer!! I will, however, deeply miss their hugs and laughter. When I think about saying bye to those in my 4s class who are changing schools, I easily get tears in my eyes. June 10th will be filled with bittersweet emotions.

I love my kids so very much. It makes me sad that some of my little ones will go into kindergarten, and their teacher may not love Jesus. I want them to keep memorizing Scripture and praying before school starts, but I know this cannot be for some of them. I'm already praying that God cultivates what's been deposited in their hearts, and that they can continue to know the love of their Father.

I do hope we love our time together. I'm reminded of my desire for my Thailand kids to just be really well behaved for the last couple of weeks, so I didn't have to discipline them. I have similar sentiments. Can't we all just get along for the next 3 weeks?! Can we laugh a lot and disobey less? Can you hug me tightly and listen the first time? Please?

I am amazed at how much I love these kids. Teachers who have been teaching for years and years- how do you do this?

Teacher Appreciated

This coming week is Teacher Appreciation Week. But it started last night for me.

One of my 4 year olds invited me over for dinner. Her mom and I have been trying to coordinate our schedules for weeks, and it finally worked out for last night. This sweetheart of a girl, we'll call her Joy, whispered in my ear 3 times at school on Friday that she was excited for me to come over. She's adorable every day, but her enthusiastic grin made her all the more endearing.

I confess that on the way to her house, my eyes were burning because I was so tired. A typical Friday involves an early bed time due to pure exhaustion. I was excited to see sweet Joy, but I knew that I was so tired.

Joy was waiting at the door for me to pull up, and the moment I walked in the door, she was literally jumping because she could not contain her excitement. We spent the next 30 minutes darting from one thing to the next so she could show me all the important stuff at her house which included her bed, her dollhouse, her "extra room" (closet), her sink where she brushes her teeth, her books (loved that!), her brothers' rooms, and her playhouse. I've never seen this kid so hyped up before. It was hilarious!

We had a delicious dinner- Joy, her mom, and myself. My place at the table was surrounded by treats, gifts, and drawings by Joy. This little girl took such delight in having me sit with her. Her mom warned her that I would not be able to stay for too long. Her mom was PARANOID that they were keeping me from fun Friday night activities- which made me laugh. But because of her mom's warnings, she would rush up to her mom and frantically ask, "Is it time for her to go?!" After a very hurried dinner due to Joy insisting on further play time, we explored outside, enjoyed the creek, and climbed up into the treehouse. We had desert, a mini concert compliments of Joy and brothers, and a lot of laughs!

I could have stayed for HOURS! Joy's mom is a wonderful and wise lady who loves the Lord, loves her husband, and is absolutely crazy about her kids! I so enjoyed the minimal conversation I had with her. This is a mom that EVERY teacher wants to have on their side. She is also one of the moms begging the elementary principal to move me up to kindergarten. It was overwhelming to be with them for the 2.5 hours last night because they loved me so deeply. The mom actually went out and bought jalepeno ranch dressing because she knows I love Mexican food so much. Who does that?!

All night I kept thinking, "I really don't deserve this!" And I still feel that way. I said to Joy's mom repeatedly, "You really didn't have to do all of this!" To which she shushed me and said she loved doing it. And I believe her. They want to have me and the boyfriend over this summer for a bonfire in their backyard. Her husband wants to take him fishing, and they offered to let me live in their extra room while I try to find another place to live.

It was just unreal. Joy was near tears as I was pulling out of the driveway, and she told me she was so sad that summer was almost here. I assured that we could be friends even in the summer, and she jumped into my arms.

On days when I'm overwhelmed, missing home, and tired of the school politics, things like last night remind me that I'm richly blessed to be right where I am. I was so humbled as this family poured out their love and appreciation for me. I'm thankful for this family, and I have hopes that my relationship with them can grow and deepen. The community that God is giving me isn't quite what I envisioned when I moved out here, but God has surrounded me with amazing women who have been such an encouragement to me in ways they don't even know.

I am a blessed girl. I don't really need Teacher Appreciation Week. Last night was more than enough for me!!