That was going to be my opening line for devotions with my team. And honestly, I can't remember if that was last month or back in November. But sometime not too far back, I was feeling that sentiment.
And when my sweet high school girls look at my family, their eyes are seeing everything they hope and dream for: A perfect husband. A perfect baby (he's close!). A perfect life filled with laughter, happiness, and permanent rainbows in the sky.
And sometimes I feel the need to reel them back in.
Because marriage is hard sometimes. Worth every bit of hardness, but hard. It is not natural to choose someone else's needs, desires, and dreams above your own. It is not easy to believe the best all. the. time. It is not romantic to do laundry, cook dinner, and wash dishes 14 times a day.
But worth it. Absolutely, 100% worth it.
It's worth having the same conversation over and over to figure out how to better communicate with each other. It's worth the time and effort put in to make sure Adam feels respected and loved. It's worth the cost of dinner to make sure we go on a date every once in a while. It's worth it.
Since our amazing baby boy entered our lives, Adam and I have talked more about our relationship than ever. More discussions on frustrations, hurt feelings, miscommunications, and heart issues. I can remember wondering, "Is it going to feel like this from now on?" You know, asked in a panicky sort of way.
But the amazing thing is, I've never felt more secure or more safe in a relationship than I do right now in our marriage. Because no matter how many times I sit baffled by Adam's way of thinking, or frustrated that he can't seem to close the cabinet doors EVER, or wondering if he knows he hurt my feelings, I'm confident of this: Adam is for me. And I mean that in the sense that Adam is rooting for my success. He believes in me. He is cheering me on while simultaneously doing things that are bringing about further refinement in my own heart. Which can be absolutely exasperating!!
But worth it!
On Sunday, Adam and I both got all dressed up to go to dinner at the top of the Space Needle. This was my Christmas present to him. I used gift cards to go buy a new dress. I had one of my cheerleaders come over to curl my hair. It was the most dressed up I've been since our wedding day. And as I got ready, I got those excited butterflies in my stomach. Excited to spend time with my husband alone. Excited to do something new and fancy (for us!). Hopeful that I looked pretty for my man because Lord knows I haven't tried that hard in a long time.
And as I looked at my cute husband throughout the night, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly grateful for him. Grateful for the hard stuff as we transitioned to a family of 3. Grateful for the ways he makes me laugh. And sometimes frustrates me. Grateful for the ways we dream together. Grateful for this journey we're on. Grateful that he's mine, and I'm his.
Sometimes, marriage is hard. But it's so worth it!
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