We left our home in Seattle on April 1. It's been over 12 weeks since then, and we are still in a place of transition. In the past few days I've found myself looking back. Looking back at what we left behind. Perhaps it's because we're still not sure what's coming next, so it's been easier to look back and remember instead of looking forward and dreaming of what could be.
This looking back is heightened by the fact that Nolan's birthday is coming up. Our baby boy has almost completed a full year with us. And I can't help but remember the weeks and days leading up to his arrival. The stress of packing up our townhouse. The hard work put into getting our next place ready. The group effort of making a garage apartment feel like a home. I remember it all.
The past few days I've been a little blue, perhaps grieving the loss. It's not like our life in Seattle was exceptionally great. But it was ours. We were lacking consistent friends. We had no family nearby. But it's where our marriage began. It's where we became parents. It's where Marissa and Adam really took shape into our own family.
So, I miss our apartment. I miss our favorite food places. I miss the hundreds of parks we could choose from. I miss the fact that one of my girls came over to hang out every Wednesday. I miss the rhythm we had. I miss what became my normal there.
It's probably typical for me to look back and have a romanticized view on things. But the longing for what we had is stronger right now because I'm well aware of what we're lacking. Adam's still looking for a job. I'm not coaching for the first time in 6 years. We don't have our own place to live. We only have 1 car. This "in transition" season feels harder than where we were 3 months ago.
But it isn't.
My mom gave me a devotional for Mother's Day by Ann Voskamp. In the first day there was a line that jumped out at me: The life that counts blessings discovers its yielding more than it seems. A few days later she goes on to talk about the pride of thanklessness. Suffice it to say it's causing me to do some heart searching.
There are days that I feel like my whole life is about Nolan.
There are weeks that I only leave my house a couple of times.
There are moments of tears, feeling lonely and sad for what we left behind.
But...
I'm determined to discover that this season is yielding more blessings than it seems. Because this life I have-- is rich! And full!
So, I'm taking on the challenge to count 1,000 gifts. I don't know that I'll always write about them. But I've got a list going. Some things seem insignificant. But those count, too.
1. The crunch when cutting lettuce
2. Nolan's sheer joy when he gets to play on our bed
3. Cloudy and cool (not blazing hot) summer mornings
4. Baby arms around my neck
5. Looking at houses for fun with Adam
6. New babies
7. Dinner I didn't cook
I am the recipient of unending graces. I'm choosing to see them. To embrace them. To count some of them.
This life is yielding thousands of blessings.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
11 Months
Nolan's 11 months. I'm going to have a 1 year old next month. This has been an incredibly fast year, and I admit that I find myself looking through old pictures to remember Nolan's smallness. Because honestly, he just seems like such the little boy that remembering him as a tiny baby can be a struggle.
Nolan is getting to experience this Georgia summer in all of its hotness and humidity. We've had many trips to the pool. Some days he likes it. Some days he doesn't.
Nolan stands by himself now. He can stoop down to pick something up, stand back up, and repeat as needed. He'll walk holding onto furniture, and he's taken a step here and there. But he really seems quite content with the speed in which he can crawl.
He's also clapping now. Which is very, very cute. We've been watching the World Cup, and when it shows the audience clapping, he'll start clapping, too.
If you say, "Nolan, can you bow?" He'll start bowing his head. This trick has really evolved over time, but we really, really love it. Nolan also shakes his head, "No." He'll shake his head when he doesn't want to eat something I'm offering (annoying!), and he'll also shake his head to get a laugh out of people.
Nolan celebrated Adam's first Father's Day. These two are so cute. Nolan lights up when Adam gets home or walks down the stairs. He loves his Daddy. I do, too.
Nolan got sick again. He was also teething. It made for a particularly rough week of eating when these two coincided. It was a real struggle. But since that week, Nolan has decided to be opinionated about his meal time. My ravenous, eat anything in sight baby can sometimes be a stinker now when it comes to eating. I'm trying diligently to get him off baby purees, and it's nothing short of a sanctifying process. Nolan can put away a Chick-fil-a kids meal, devours fruit, loves hot dogs, eats Cheerios anytime anywhere, and still enjoys yogurt everyday.
Nolan experienced his first beach trip. It took some time, but he eventually enjoyed the sand and water. He didn't eat as much sand as I thought he would, which was a pleasant surprise!
Nolan's current loves are: balloons (with all his heart!), balls, dogs, climbing the stairs, picture books, baths, and anything that means going outside.
My sweet boy is turning 1 next month. Can't hardly believe it.
Nolan is getting to experience this Georgia summer in all of its hotness and humidity. We've had many trips to the pool. Some days he likes it. Some days he doesn't.
Nolan stands by himself now. He can stoop down to pick something up, stand back up, and repeat as needed. He'll walk holding onto furniture, and he's taken a step here and there. But he really seems quite content with the speed in which he can crawl.
He's also clapping now. Which is very, very cute. We've been watching the World Cup, and when it shows the audience clapping, he'll start clapping, too.
If you say, "Nolan, can you bow?" He'll start bowing his head. This trick has really evolved over time, but we really, really love it. Nolan also shakes his head, "No." He'll shake his head when he doesn't want to eat something I'm offering (annoying!), and he'll also shake his head to get a laugh out of people.
Nolan celebrated Adam's first Father's Day. These two are so cute. Nolan lights up when Adam gets home or walks down the stairs. He loves his Daddy. I do, too.
Nolan got sick again. He was also teething. It made for a particularly rough week of eating when these two coincided. It was a real struggle. But since that week, Nolan has decided to be opinionated about his meal time. My ravenous, eat anything in sight baby can sometimes be a stinker now when it comes to eating. I'm trying diligently to get him off baby purees, and it's nothing short of a sanctifying process. Nolan can put away a Chick-fil-a kids meal, devours fruit, loves hot dogs, eats Cheerios anytime anywhere, and still enjoys yogurt everyday.
Nolan experienced his first beach trip. It took some time, but he eventually enjoyed the sand and water. He didn't eat as much sand as I thought he would, which was a pleasant surprise!
Nolan's current loves are: balloons (with all his heart!), balls, dogs, climbing the stairs, picture books, baths, and anything that means going outside.
My sweet boy is turning 1 next month. Can't hardly believe it.
Monday, June 2, 2014
10 Months
Nolan is 10 months. Ten. And now that we're back in Georgia, it is really hard for me to do these monthly updates because everyone who reads this is probably seeing him regularly. But, I kind of like having a record of it all.
Nolan got a cold that lasted nearly 3 weeks. And I was not. a. fan. He was generally his happy self, but we battled congestion for weeks. Weeks, people.
This kid figured out how to climb the stairs in about a day. He loves them. He's a speedy climber. If he's fussy waiting for dinner, we just put him on the stairs and let him climb.
This little boy LOVES being outside. Something we're still getting used to is the heat down here in Atlanta. We used the kiddy pool as we eagerly awaited the opening of the neighborhood pool. [note: his hair looks very light in this picture. It's really not that light]
Nolan tends to eat pretty ravenously. Which I love and appreciate. He still prefers pureed food to finger food. I'm hoping when he gets some more teeth, we'll make some progress in the self feeding area.
He did eat his first kids meal at Chick-Fil-A. He ate most of his grilled nuggets, the applesauce, and I even let him have some watered down lemonade.
Taking pictures with this bear is getting nearly impossible. Nolan is quite the active guy and talks almost nonstop.
I always sign and say "all done" after meals. He skipped the signing and started saying his own version of "all done." It sounds like allduh. Sometimes when I get him out of his crib from naps he'll also say, "Allduh." Pretty cute.
He's a joy!! I can't believe we're almost to July. It can't be possible that a whole year has almost passed since he came into the world. Alas, we are almost to his birthday.
This kid figured out how to climb the stairs in about a day. He loves them. He's a speedy climber. If he's fussy waiting for dinner, we just put him on the stairs and let him climb.
This little boy LOVES being outside. Something we're still getting used to is the heat down here in Atlanta. We used the kiddy pool as we eagerly awaited the opening of the neighborhood pool. [note: his hair looks very light in this picture. It's really not that light]
Nolan tends to eat pretty ravenously. Which I love and appreciate. He still prefers pureed food to finger food. I'm hoping when he gets some more teeth, we'll make some progress in the self feeding area.
He did eat his first kids meal at Chick-Fil-A. He ate most of his grilled nuggets, the applesauce, and I even let him have some watered down lemonade.
Taking pictures with this bear is getting nearly impossible. Nolan is quite the active guy and talks almost nonstop.
I always sign and say "all done" after meals. He skipped the signing and started saying his own version of "all done." It sounds like allduh. Sometimes when I get him out of his crib from naps he'll also say, "Allduh." Pretty cute.
He's a joy!! I can't believe we're almost to July. It can't be possible that a whole year has almost passed since he came into the world. Alas, we are almost to his birthday.
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