If only I had known...

Dear Me One Year Ago,

You've had that baby of yours for about a month now. I know. He's the cutest baby you've ever seen. Even the pouty lip is adorable. Here are some things you should know, Mama.

The schedule you're working so incredibly hard to implement and maintain, it's worth it!! The pay off is huge. People are going to call you rigid and crazy, but you're going to have a baby that sleeps and enjoys a predictable schedule. You and Adam will also sleep, so hang in there. The schedule works out big time for you and the little man. 

The unsolicited advice strangers, relatives, and friends are going to offer? Repeat after me: Smile and nod. Yes, it's gets annoying. Yes, people are offering advice all. the. time. But the intentions are good. However, you know your baby better than anyone else, so always keep that in mind. Sometimes you'll hear good advice, too. Don't chuck it all out the window. But don't let it get to you. They aren't offering advice because you're doing something wrong; they're offering advice because they care. 

That sweet husband of yours has NO IDEA what you're going through right now. Nolan's life isn't dependent on Adam. He's not recovering from a traumatic birth. He is absolutely clueless to the millions of emotions and thoughts you experience in an hour. Give him grace on grace on grace. He's not leaving dishes undone because he wants you to do them. He's not on his iPad because it's more attractive than you are. He doesn't notice the kitchen you cleaned because he's completely smitten with the cutest baby you both have ever seen. He's not ignoring the fact that this is hard; he just literally has no way to fix it, so he feels helpless. Oh, and don't micromanage him. So what if he does things a little differently than you do. Don't sweat the small stuff, sista! 

You are going to have a love-hate relationship with the swaddle. I wish I could really prepare you for this, but I can't. 

There's going to come a stretch of a few weeks where you let Nolan get in bed with you from 6:30-7ish so you both can sleep a little longer. You're going to worry if you're creating a bad habit. DON'T worry. Enjoy it. Cuddle your boy. Savor the feeling. You won't believe how soon the dude will refuse to sleep on you [and you will be very sad about this]. You're going to switch to formula and feel totally insecure about your decision. DON'T feel shamed. Nolan's healthy. He's happy. He drinks formula? So what. You're both going to be okay. 

You're going to be able to rock your dream wardrobe- athletic clothes- all day, everyday. But guess what. You're going to enjoy the days you take the time to get dressed in actual clothes. They will be few and far between. But those days are necessary. Sometimes you're going to need a reminder that you didn't always wear pants with an elastic waist. 

Now, listen. You need to get in a Moms group. This mom gig, it really goes better within community. Being isolated and not connected with other moms is going to be really, really hard. So, that schedule I encouraged you about? It's good. But it's also flexible. If you have to compromise your schedule one day a week to get in a group, DO IT!! You need the relationships with other women. You need other women to Amen your hardships and celebrate your victories. 

You're going to have moments when you are completely overwhelmed by how much you love your little boy. And in those moments, remember God's entrusted him into your care. He's an amazing gift, but he's not yours. Be grateful. Be prayerful. But be surrendered, too. Everyone will be telling you how fast it all goes, so treasure these times. You will have hard days. You won't want to treasure those. That's okay. You'll get to start a new day. 

Take more videos of your baby. Rock him a little longer once he's fallen asleep in your arms. Ask Adam to take pictures of you and Nolan; it's not going to occur to him to do that (again, it's not personal, so don't take it that way). Enjoy this year, Mama. You're going to love being a mom! You're going to be thrilled and humbled and lonely (at times) and elated and filled to the brim with joy. There will be some hard parts of the journey, but Marissa, you were made for this! 

Keepin' It Real, 
Me