Time is Ticking. Right?

I'm 39 weeks pregnant, and these are my struggles.

:: I typically eat at least 1 salad a day for a meal. I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I've eaten so much lettuce. But lately (the last 4 days) I find myself thinking, "Is this really the last meal I want to eat before I go into labor? Would something with a little more substance sustain me better?" This can be a dangerous way of thinking. The salads have continued. 

:: Each night I lay in bed and hope that I sleep good (which is close to impossible at this point in pregnancy) AND that labor doesn't start before a reasonable time in the morning. Who wants to start the sleep deprived season that is having a newborn with a sleep deprived labor session? Not me. 

:: When I pep talk myself by saying so many women have shorter labors the second time around, the not so optimistic part of me quickly does the math. If my labor is cut in half from what I did with Nolan, that's still 36 hours. The pushing would be 1.5 hours. I'm gonna need more than a 50% cut!!! 

:: Adam usually does Nolan's bedtime routine. In the past when Nolan would plead for me, my general feelings would be- Tough Tacos. But now. If Nolan pleads for me, I melt like a stick of butter in the middle of July. Because I know everything's about to change, and I'm holding my baby a little tighter these days. 

:: I'm doing laundry way more frequently than normal or necessary. Because for all I know, I'm going to have a baby and end up coming home to a mountain of laundry. No one wants that. Plus, there are only a handful of items I semi enjoy wearing at this point. So, I wash. A lot. 

:: The desire to not cook right now is so strong. And honestly, I don't think it's the actual cooking part. Well, it's part of it. It's also the brain powers necessary to plan a dinner to cook. It's hard, man. The grocery list took me so long to make last week. I can only imagine what will happen this week. I personally am not above Chick-fil-a every day.

:: Even though I did a 72 hour labor session with Nolan, I'm still nervous about the contractions. I think I was in a better place mentally to handle contractions with Nolan because I was so set on delivering naturally. While that is my desire with this one, what I really, really, really want is a smooth delivery that doesn't end in chaos and hemorrhaging. If that includes an epidural, I don't see myself being all that disappointed in myself. 

:: My motivation for getting through labor-- a fresh Jimmy John's sub. I want it bad. 

These are my 39 week pregnant struggles. My biggest question is this: will I have 40 week pregnant struggles?