Because Life Is Happening And I Don't Want to Forget

There have been little snippets that have happened lately (and not lately at all), and I absolutely cannot, will not, should not trust my memory to keep them stored away. This brain of mine used to be a steel trap. Not anymore.

:: For my dad's new store dedication dinner, I got dressed in my room while everyone else was out in the living room. I had some make-up on, my hair was down, and I put a dress on (gasp!). When I came out to put shoes on and be ready to go, Nolan was completely captivated by me. His little face had a huge grin, and he just wanted to follow me around, talking about and touching my dress. It was heart melting and adorable. He just couldn't get over it. I hope I'll never forget the smile on his face watching me in those few minutes. (But I obviously will, as previously discussed) Since then, he's asked me to wear a dress several times. Precious.

:: Back when Isaac was still waking up to eat in the middle of the night, he always wanted to be held a little longer than you'd think necessary for the middle of the night. I'd feed him, swaddle him back up, and hold him for a little bit on the couch with the boppy pillow helping me out. Before long, we both would be fast asleep, snuggled into each other. I'd usually wake up about 30 minutes later and put my little nugget down. But those were sweet times. 

:: Not too long ago (a month?), Isaac was in his little hammock as I was trying to get things down around the apartment. He was starting to make noise, but he wasn't upset. Nolan walked over to the side of the hammock and started talking very softly to him. He grabbed Isaac's paci and tried repeatedly to get it in (I've mentioned the paci struggles enough). He finally took it, and I hear Nolan say to him, "Good job, Isaac!" Ok. Melt. 

:: Issac was crying in his pack'n'play before falling asleep for a nap, and Nolan said, "Aww, Isaac sad. Isaac needs Mommy." 

:: As previously mentioned, Isaac is not a snuggler by nature, which is oh so sad for me. But one morning after his nap, he just pressed his cheek to mine and stayed there for 10 minutes as I rocked him in the rocker. I was afraid to move or speak, not wanting to disturb him or give him a reason to move. 

:: At bedtime, Nolan gets me and Adam to himself for 2 books, prayer, and a song. We do the praying and singing in his bed with him. It can be such a conflicting time. I'm ready to put a bow on the day and spend time with Adam, but those are some of the sweetest minutes of my day. Lately, Nolan has wanted me to sing "One Thing Remains" at bedtime. Well, when you sing this every night week after week, turns out my little 2 year old learns the words. And Nolan singing along with me is the highlight of my day. When I listen to my toddler singing, "In death, in life, I'm confident and covered by the power of Your great love," I want to cry happy tears. It's just the sweetest. I wish there was a way for us to video it, but we can't without Nolan noticing. I pray and pray and pray I can treasure those times in my heart. 

:: Nolan has had some struggles with fear lately. As his mom, it makes me sad and a little concerned. My mom's taught him that when he feels afraid he can say, "Go away, fear!" Which he absolutely does say. That in itself is amazing. But I've also been wanting to teach him that Jesus makes us brave. Even when we don't feel like it, Jesus can make us brave. I've been playing the song You Make Me Brave because 1. I love it, 2. It's "Isaac's song", and 3. I want Nolan to hear those words. We were in the car while that song was playing, and it got to the part where it says, "You make me brave. You make me brave." And Nolan is exclaiming, "Mommy! Mommy! Jesus makes brave! Jesus makes brave!" Cue the tears. I agree with him and pray for his sweet little heart as his whole face is lit up while the song continues. He goes on to say, "Go away, fear. Jesus makes brave!" Amen. Amen. Amen. 

:: The look on Isaac's face when Adam walks into the room first thing in the morning after he's eaten-- GOLD!!! The smile can't get bigger. Have I melted enough for one post? Adam's had to wear Isaac the past 4 Sundays while I serve, and is there anything more attractive on my man than his tender care towards our baby while actually wearing our baby? I don't think so. 

Gosh, I'm rich. I might live in an apartment that I can easily get annoyed with... I long for a back yard, a front porch, and a fireplace. But honestly, I've got more than I deserve inside these walls. These days are filled with holy happenings.