:: 2 months later and I just put Isaac's birthday thank you notes in the mail today. T W O months later. I try to be pretty prompt with thank you notes, but life has been fast paced lately. In my defense, we did have his party a month after his birthday.
:: We've been in our house for 6.5 weeks with one of those weeks being spent at the beach. The transition to house has been ongoing. I did not expect Nolan or Isaac to have such obvious anxiety when we moved, but they definitely did. Definitely still working through some of those issues. But the great stuff far outweighs the tough stuff. I actually have my Bible reading time and my workout done before getting the kids at 7:30. Mind- blown.
:: Nolan and I have had some tough days with each other. I thought the house would help in a lot of ways, and it certainly did when it comes to Nolan needing some space from Isaac at times. But Nolan also tapped into his crazy, wild side upon moving into the house. I ask myself all too often, "Is this just life with a nearly 3 year old boy or is this life with MY nearly 3 year old boy?" But life with that kiddo has me reading books, listening to podcasts, and praying for wisdom, discernment, and Lord Jesus, please send me all the patience, mercy, and grace. It has been so, so humbling to listen to the way Nolan talks to Isaac and wonder if that's what I sound like to him. So, when I ask Nolan 400 times a day, "Was that kind," I find myself also asking myself, "Are you teaching him what kindness looks like?" Nolan is quite possibly the most expressive, cutest, energetic kid I know right now. And he drives.me.to.my.knees.
:: As much as I love having a house, and I do, there's the voice that I knew wouldn't be silenced just because we have a house asking, "What about the people without houses? And food? And clothes?" The tension is still there, people. We've moved further from the marginalized, and I'm once again looking around wondering, are we missing it? And I have to remind myself, God has my, "yes!" Move downtown? Yes! Move to the lower income housing? Yes! Move deeper into the suburbs? Yes? This I can say with total confidence: I cannot convince Adam to move into one of the neighborhoods I would choose for us, but God can. Our job is to be faithful with today, and I have to trust that God is not speaking in a whisper or writing in hieroglyphics. He wants obedience from us, so He is not giving us instructions that are impossible to decipher. So, God has my, "yes." And I just have to accept that I don't know what that means down the road.
I have an entire post on the dreams God is stirring up in me, but for right now, this is all I can do. I had to break the 2 month long silence. I had to just start somewhere.
Thank you for breaking the two month silence! I have missed reading your posts. As always, I love your heart for God and for your family. Although, you are a little too hard on yourself. Your children are so blessed to have such a mom, one that is so intentional to do it God's way and that seeks to train them up in the way that they should go and to love them with all of your heart. Rest in that you have given God your yes! He will lead you along His path. I love you!
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