5 Years of Isaac Dean

I cannot believe Isaac is five years old. To me, kids cross into a new world at five. They are of course still kids, but they are into childhood. The chubby cheeks are thinning or thinned. Their bodies are lean (though Isaac is as solid as they come). Their pronunciation is mostly right of every day words. Five year olds seem to have fully left behind their toddler days. 

Isaac is so quick to try new things. He is adventurous and brave, often saying yes before his brother will. Isaac learned to swim last spring/summer. Which was greatly appreciated in my final weeks of pregnancy and in the first month after Elliana was born. 

Isaac became a big brother! He's so protective of his little sister, and it's absolutely precious. These two were home together two days of the school week (up until the pandemic hit), and Isaac had genuine interest in being with her on those days. He often needs reassurance that Elliana does love him, laugh at him, etc when Nolan is playing with her. It can make me sad when I see these little insecurities surface in him, but we keep reiterating that she absolutely does love him, think he's funny, and enjoy him.

Isaac got to go to Disney again. My mother-in-law says that four is the magic age for kids to go to Disney. Even though it would mean going when Elliana was so little, we did it anyway. This kid. He did every ride he was tall enough for. He insisted he wanted to do Splash Mountain, even when his brother was chickening out. And he loved it. After the big drop at the end he said, "I wish it was faster!" Oh man! A little thrill seeker!! 

Isaac started school this year. He was in a young 4s class, which put him as the oldest kid by far. The school really wanted him to do pre-k, but I just wanted his first year to be fun. His teachers ADORED him. This was what I wanted more than anything. Learning letters and numbers was going to be a bonus. Isaac went three days a week, his class was a 4 day program, but I wanted him home an extra day. His teachers sang his praises all.year.long. They loved him so much. They organized a birthday parade for him, and I'm convinced its because they wanted to be able to see him. 

Isaac still is my little sidekick in the kitchen. He loves to bake with me, and this year I started noticing he was really learning. He's cracking eggs so well. He understands that dry ingredients and wet ingredients get measured separately. He knows we usually chill our cookie dough before baking it. I love doing this with him. It 100% slows me down and can sometimes try my patience, but I love that as soon as he hears me get my mixer out, he drags a chair to the island to get started (and then I send him to wash his hands).

Isaac can still be an emotional little guy. It can be hard to discern if he's just a sensitive dude or if he has some not so hidden motives of getting Nolan in trouble. This is certainly an area we're working on. Isaac is still taking a nap everyday unless there's a reason not to. Of our three kids, he's our champion sleeper. We rarely hear from the kid once we say goodnight. He is, however, still sucking his thumb at night. 

Isaac is an easy kid to enjoy. He's still silly and cuddly and absolutely a mama's boy. He's got a tender heart, and he hangs on Nolan's every word. He's quite the little athlete, and we are so bummed his soccer season ended so abruptly because of COVID-19. 

Five years of Isaac Dean Tomberlin! I'm so glad God placed him in our family. 

Eight Months!

Man, oh man. It's hard to do this post without at least acknowledging that we are living in bizarre times. A global pandemic. There are tragic, monumental losses all over the world, and yet, in our little corner here, we've got our own little Miss Sunshine lighting up our days. Elliana is a joy- 8 months!

This little one figured out how to sit up all by herself. She'd roll and scootch her way around and then push herself up to sitting. Neither of the boys learned this skill before learning to crawl. All throughout the month I kept saying, "She could crawl any day now," but she actually didn't get the hang of it until after she turned 8 months (spoiler, I know!). 

The rhythm of our mornings is that I get Ellie up first and feed her. I then come downstairs with her and pump while she sits in a baby seat to let her milk settle. By the time I'm done, the boys are downstairs. Once I change her diaper and put her on the floor, I pretty much just walk away to get breakfast going for the boys. It was quite comical to see just where Elliana would end up in the few minutes of getting breakfast ready. It became our favorite game. Where's Elliana? (yes, I know, with a crawler we really can't turn our back on her anymore).

Though it seems like MONTHS ago, it was in this month of her life that I found out she is in fact allergic to peanuts, milk, eggs, and celery apparently (found that one out by giving it to her, not from an actual allergy test). It was quite the disappointment for me. I let a few quiet tears spill over in the car after we got her lab results. Baking is so life giving to me, and to think of all the things she can't eat because of her milk and egg allergy was just so sad. The allergist says she WILL grow out of the milk and egg allergy, we just can't know when. I'm very thankful for that! She'll get tested again next spring. It's also a little unnerving to think she could go into anaphylactic shock from eating goldfish- the most common church snack known in the US. But, you know, because of the pandemic, little lady isn't going to church nursery any time soon. 

Because of said pandemic, this little sister is getting all sorts of attention from her brothers. There has been no lack of bonding over here. Nolan and Isaac LOVE her so much (so much more than each other it seems), and they fight over who gets to make her laugh and smile at any given moment. 

Baby girl is nursing 4 times a day, eating solids 3 times, naps 2-3 times, and does splits at least 50 times a day. I currently love the schedule we are on right now, though I could do without the nursing, but I CAN finish the year strong!! 

Someone may or may not be (but definitely is) completely wrapped around this little girl's finger. I see all sorts of warning signs that this girl could be a princess, and I will have her father to thank for that!! 

Elliana Joy Tomberlin- we could not love you more! But then a new day comes, and we actually do!! 

SEVEN months

Elliana girl is 7 months! It was a big month for my little nugget. 

We have officially transitioned to a 4 hour schedule. I am so thankful! It's only one less feeding, but it makes such a big difference for me. As someone who doesn't love breastfeeding, I appreciate the extra hour between feedings. She's still taking two good naps and then one catnap before dinner.

This precious girl got to try peanut butter for the first time, and she broke out in hives almost immediately. Insert all of the sad and crying faces. Even with Benadryl, she had hives all day. Thankfully, there was nothing more severe than the hives. We are a peanut butter loving family, so this was a big disappointment. The next week she got the above irritated skin around her mouth after eating yogurt. Sweet baby girl had to go to the allergist AND get blood drawn to test for peanut, eggs, and milk. She's confirmed allergic to peanuts, and we'll find out tomorrow about the eggs and milk. They won't test for tree nuts yet, so for the time being- no nuts or nut butters of any kind.

This little one is showing all signs that crawling is in her near future. She gets up on all fours all the time, and she's moving backward and side to side. I still think it could take her a bit to really get the hang of it, but she's so dang cute when she's trying. Our world will change when she's mobile. Especially when I think about her peanut allergy. 

Elliana has found her toes, and she is so cute about it. She likes chomping on pretty much anything (my hair is still her favorite), and I'm convinced teeth are coming. I swear the first teeth take SO LONG to actually come in. 

Look at that face! She's starting to do all sorts of hilarious and adorable expressions. I love those little cheeks so much, and I can't believe I get to smooch them every day. I really feel like babies' personalities start coming out even more once they are crawling and sitting up on their own. I'm savoring Elliana as she is right now. I'm mindful that change is ahead- teeth and crawling and getting more independent. I have no doubt that I will delight in her as she gets bigger, but I'm also wanting to treasure this stage right now. Because as everyone knows, there's no going back. 

We are all crazy about Elliana, and the love between her and her brothers is growing. She loves watching their absolute crazy antics, and they will stop at nothing to make her smile and laugh. I love their mutual love for each other. She might be the family favorite right now.

What a month for my girl- allergic reaction to peanuts, a visit to the allergist, blood drawn, she's been a champ. 

I'm hoping the 8th month is a little less exciting! 

Half Birthday Time

6 Months of Elliana Joy!!!

Elliana was right at 15 pounds at her 6 month check-up. She's consistently in the 50th percentile for height and 25th-30th percentile for weight. AKA- still a peanut! She doesn't look like a feather weight when she's just in her diaper, but she's a petite girl. Those cheeks though- they are looking mighty delicious. 

She's been working on solids for a month now, and I'm a little discouraged with her very slow (no?) progress. As a breastfeeding Mama, I've had my eyes on the beautiful 4 hour schedule, and it seems just out of reach because she won't eat solids. I'm usually happy if she gets a tablespoon consumed. She does okay with sweet potatoes, carrots, and banana avocado puree. But everything else she has been entirely uninterested in, often times refusing to even open her mouth to take a bite. I am going to experiment with just giving her regular table food and see if that goes better. She did full on throw up after eating a mix of prunes and oatmeal, and her willingness to eat dropped significantly after that. I know this too shall pass.

We busted out the jumperoo. Because of said littleness, she hasn't quite figured out how to jump. But she'll hang out in it for a bit. Both of the boys would go completely nutso in this thing by this age. She does like when we make it bounce, but she has made no attempts to do it herself. 

Super pumped to say this girl is sleeping in a regular sleep sack now. The process of getting her to this point was mostly easy, and I'm so thankful for that. She's taking 3 naps a day. She's 100% a pacifier baby at this point. Adam and I did not always see eye to eye on this, but she loves her paci. If she wakes up in the night, she just wants her paci, and that's it. While I'm happy it's an easy fix, I'm a little concerned homegirl is very dependent on it to sleep. But oh well. Here we are. 

Elliana loves her Mama! And I'm not complaining. She's perfectly content with Adam, but she often has her eyes fixed on me, watching my every move waiting for the right time to reach for me. She loves my hair and likes to put it in her mouth (gross!). She also loves her bath, her crinkle paper, her paci, her brothers, and her Daddy. She's talking more and more and still showing zero signs of getting mobile beyond rolling. No complaints here. 

This little lady is all sorts of sweetness. She has had a very, very fussy few days recently. I can't help but wonder if teething is upon us, but otherwise, she's been a happy dream baby, and I'm so thankful for her. 

This was on her actual half birthday, and she gave me the greatest gift of falling asleep on my chest. She was needing to be held every moment of being awake this evening, and that eventually led to dozing in and out of sleep right here. She NEVER does this, and it's how I know something isn't feeling all the way right for my baby girl. But I savored the sweetness and her precious self on me. 

Elliana- 5 months

My girl is 5 months! She's such a bright spot in our every day; it's hard to imagine life without her. 

December kind of zoomed by. Each year that I've experienced Christmas with a baby, it gives me all the feels. This time around was no exception. This December there was a lot of reflecting back to the year before while I was pregnant with Elliana. At the Christmas Eve service I was just overwhelmed with gratitude that I was holding Elliana in my arms. This baby girl is such a gift. An undeserving gift that has been such a tender mercy to us. 

Not much changed about this little bean. She's eating 6 times in a 24 hour period and taking 3 naps plus a 4th quick cat nap in the evening. I'm not sure how much she weighs or how long she is, but she's definitely growing. She's still much smaller than the boys, but her legs are bulking up and those cheeks! The cheeks are not lacking. She's starting to grow some more hair, but it's coming in slow. 

She loves to have two brothers around to entertain her and talk to her and basically think she is awesome at every.single.thing. she does. Nolan loves to try to time it just right to come with me to get her up for her first feed of the day around 7:15 (he's supposed to still be in his room). He gets such a kick out of how happy she is to see us. She has started showing signs of stranger danger already. She's not always happy to just be passed off and around from person to person. I'm not wanting a koala baby, so I'm trying to encourage family members to push through the tears. But sometimes she just needs mama. 

Also consistent with my boys, this little peanut is a Mama's girl right now. If she's wanting me to hold her while someone else has her, she'll flail her arms in my general direction until she gets to me. She also loves my hair and stuffs it in her mouth often. It's not my favorite Elliana feature. She's getting much better arm control as she's grasping at toys and getting things to her mouth. I can't believe it, but I think we're close to teething. She's gnawing on anything these days. 

Our Elliana Joy IS an absolute joy. She's our Ellie Bean, Ellie Bell, Ellie Girl, Elliana Joy Joy, and all around cutest baby in the entire world. Isaac says all the time, "She's the cutest, best baby there ever was!" Pretty much! 

Looking Back at 2019

It's becoming a thing now, but I really didn't think I'd have margin to get this written out. I've been thinking about how I usually do a look back before the year ends, but I assumed it wouldn't happen. But here it goes.

In so many ways, 2019 was another brutal year. BUT.
But Elliana Joy came into our family, and that is such an overwhelming bright spot that it really does help cast a shadow on all that was hard. When I think back to my wrap up of 2018, I'm shocked that I'm already back here at another year's end. 

When I think back to what has stood out from this year, aside from Elliana, it's mostly the hard stuff. The hard stuff of 2018 seemed to be centered around loss. The hard stuff of 2019 has been a different kind of hard. But I want to try to remember some high points first. 

For some reason, the gender reveal with my friends stands out to me. They all put effort and time and money into a small gathering for them all to be able to find out together if we were having a boy or a girl. We just did it at Fellowship's playground, but I left feeling so unbelievably loved. They were  so excited to find out what baby Tomberlin was going to be. We have a picture of us spraying all of them with pink silly string, and it brings a smile to my face just looking at it. 

The boys' school has been a tremendous blessing to our family. Talk about an unexpected joy! There is so much I like about this school. I was initially trying to get them into that school because of how close it is to our house, but it has been so much more than I could have hoped for. Nolan's teacher is INCREDIBLE. I'm in awe of her, and I have often joked that I wish she could mentor me. Isaac's teacher adores him, and that is truly all I wanted for that boy. I'm so grateful we got that call just days before Elliana was born that Nolan had made it off the wait list and into the class. 

I can't not mention Elliana. I look at her every day and marvel. I'm so deeply grateful she's here. I think my boys as babies were just as enthralled with me as she is, but honestly, I don't remember. The look on her face when she seems me- I can't believe it. I can't believe I have a daughter who I get to delight in, and she equally delights in me. And watching Nolan and Isaac with her- forget about it. Done. Melted. Isaac seeks reassurance often that no one is taking her from us, and I often wonder if maybe having Sammy leave our home had more of an impact on him than I realized. We all adore Elliana, and I love being her Mama. 

This has been by far the hardest year of marriage for us. When peers would talk about being in a difficult season of marriage, I truly did not understand. My relationship with Adam had been so easy. Marriage was fun. Sure, we had little things here and there, who doesn't? But this year, this year has been hard. In September, I went to see a counselor for some help. She asked me why I was there, and I started back with the first miscarriage and talked through why I was there. When I was done, she said, "Wow! Marissa, that sounds so painful! I'm so sorry." And I broke down. I went into counseling thinking she was going to tell me everything I could be doing better, but her first response was compassion. That moment, her response, was deeply impactful for me. 

I have a lot of hope that my 2020 recap is going to be different. Meaning, I'm hopeful for what God is going to continue to do in us next year. In a lot of ways I'm coming out of survival mode and the postpartum haze. Life since Elliana was born has especially been exhausting. Not because I had a newborn, obviously that did play a part, but I had never been so needed by all members of this Tomberlin family. I can remember someone texted asking me a question that could have been answered with their own efforts, and I nearly cried. I was breaking. I couldn't help anyone else because Adam needed me so much as he was living through anxiety, and clearly my children needed me. I mean, my daughter needs me to you know, EAT! One morning the song Yes I Will by Vertical Worship came on, and I cried and realized regardless of what is going on, I can offer praise. Worship could be my most powerful weapon. Sadly, I don't always remember this in the low moments. 

2019 brought me a healthy baby girl, and for that it's one of the best years of my life. But otherwise, it's been another year that has me wanting to say, BYE!!! Next December, Adam and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage. We had planned to go back to where we honeymooned for our 10 year anniversary, but we've decided that we will try to pull it off for our 9 year anniversary because dang it, we believe we will be celebrating all that God has done! And if we can celebrate, I want to!

2020, let's do this!! 

Elliana- 4 months

Gosh, I'm really late on this one. But I'm determined to not completely drop the ball on this.

Elliana Joy is 4 months (almost 2 weeks ago). At her 4 month check-up she was about 13.5 pounds, and I don't even remember how long. But she's right at the 50th percentile for height, and she's down in the 25-30th percentile for weight. She is a little one. But we love her littleness!

Her biggest accomplishment (but really mine!) was dropping the swaddle. She is in that little contraption, but it is safe for her to roll in. She much prefers her back right now, but I do think she'll enjoy her tummy eventually. The few times she has turned to her tummy, she got super angry. She's napping 4 times a day still, and she's sleeping through the night. But she does sometimes require paci intervention. Which to be honest, makes me feel like she's not quite sleeping through the night if I still have to get up. 

This girl is a trooper. She's in the carseat a lot for school drop offs and pick ups. Thankfully school is very close, but I do hate waking her from her naps to go get the boys. But as a friend wisely told me, God knew exactly what it would be like to have a baby in this season of life, and He gave us Elliana. She's doing great being flexible! 

Elliana is a proficient roller, and she often lasts on her back all of 2 seconds before flipping herself over to her tummy. She's a strong little baby and holds her head up so good. She's showing no signs of trying to army crawl, and I'm so glad. A Christmas tree with just a roller is no problem. A Christmas tree with a crawler is tough! 

I forgot what it was like to have a baby who thinks the world of you. Basically because I am pretty much her world. It's a pretty priceless feeling to go get her from her naps and in the morning and have her gasp with excitement to see me. We still do a dream feed at 10:30 at night that she generally sleeps straight through. Adam typically does this feeding, but sometimes I do it. A few times when I've gone in to scoop her up from her crib, she kicks her feet and borderline squeals as I'm getting her. At 10:30 at night. I can't help but giggle.

Our little peanut continues to bring such joy to our family. Even the crankiest of moods can be cracked by this girl. Each of us take such delight in her smiles, her talking, and simply her nearness. We are blessed to love this baby girl and watch her grow. I continue to feel no remorse as she gets bigger and bigger. What a gift that we have a healthy baby to watch grow!!! I am so thankful for her life! This time last year I was pleading to God to preserve her life inside of me, and this year I get to kiss her cheeks a hundred times a day and changer her stinky diapers and lock eyes with her from across the room. Elliana Joy, she is sunshine on my soul!!