Spring Break

It's Spring Break.

Huge sigh of relief.

I had to pick between posting a quick entry or working on the project I just bought all of the supplies for from Michael's. It was a tough choice. But felt like this might help me out more.

I told Adam what the last 10 Spring Breaks have looked like for me (yes, this takes me back to my freshman year of high school): knee surgery, California 3 years in a row, El Salvador, Cabo, Grand Cayman, South Africa, Seattle, and last year's trip to Atlanta/Lexington. So, I've been pretty spoiled. I've gone on some crazy, big trips for Spring Break. This would be the first one since I was 14 that I stayed put for the week. Ridiculous!

We've gotten a lot accomplished, had some fun, and we've experienced some 'firsts' as a married couple and for myself.

Highlights/Firsts for this Tomberlin family

*We ate the most amazing sandwiches from a wildly popular "restaurant" called Paseo. It's really just a step above a shack, but it had the best pork sandwiches I've ever had. That is a huge statement coming from this chica!

* We had our first Easter as a married couple and my first Easter without any other family. We grilled out with a couple of friends. I made my first cake (frosting included) completely from scratch, and it was much better than a box but much more time consuming!

* We've been working out together all week. Which has been really interesting and at times, a bit tense! Adam decided he was going to put us through modified workouts that he does for the football team. Wow. It's been a lot!

* I got to spend one on one time with a girl from our newlywed's group. It was so great, and it gave me hope that I can actually make friends with people my age outside of the FCC world.

* I got my hair cut, and I use that word loosely. It's still very long, but it is what it is. I used a gift card to get it done. I'll get it really cut when school is out.

* We finally hung pictures up in our house! Yay!! We printed wedding pictures yesterday, and we hung them all up today. They look great!

There have been some hard days leading up to this break, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to decompress and slow the pace down.

I was reading in James 1 last week, and the word 'steadfast' stood out to me. The first part of the chapter has the heading 'Testing of Your Faith.' Verse 3 says that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. Verse 12 says that a man who stays steadfast under trial is called blessed, and he will receive the crown of life when he has stood the test of time. I was journaling about what I perceive to be a lack of steadfastness in my life these past few weeks.

I told Adam about a month ago that I was losing my patience for this season. He kind of just looked at me like, "Do you think you have any control of this?" Obviously, I do not.

Last week I was given a $600 bonus for my team taking 2nd in State. This was completely out of the blue and completely out of character for my school. On Saturday, Adam and I found out that we owe $600 for our taxes. Where I could have taken this opportunity to be grateful for God's provision, instead I let this feel like a punch to the gut. We just can't catch a break.

A few days after that, once I could have an attitude adjustment, I was sharing with the girl from my small group about all of the huge things that keep happening in the area of God meeting our needs. Every step of the way, God has provided and shown Himself faithful. She was in awe. Her and her husband make plenty of money to cover their expenses, but she actually expressed envy over where Adam and I are. That we get to see God show up time and time again. She viewed our situation as freeing. It's all about perspective, right?

We still have plane tickets to buy for 2 weddings that are back to back weekends in June. My car door handle broke (funny story, actually), so we have to roll down the window every time we need to get out of the car. Adam has a suit to buy for the wedding he's in; I have to buy a dress for the wedding I'm in. It all seems unending.

And maybe it is.

Perhaps that's where the steadfastness comes in.

I simply haven't felt like enough... as a teacher, as a wife, and as a daughter-in-law. Our bank accounts aren't "enough" for our expenses. There are days when I'm praying, and it feels empty and void. Or I sit quietly before the Lord with a lack of words to say.

In the midst of these trials, big or small, I'm called to be faithful, steadfast, and unmoving in my faith. I'm supposed to let steadfastness have it's full effect that I may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:4).

I feel like each week God shows off in our lives. Whether it's an extremely fun game night with our small group that meets Adam's social needs or a friend sending a care package filled with my favorite snacks, in the big stuff and the really small stuff, God is showing Himself faithful in our lives. And I need to let the trials produce steadfastness in my life.

In the midst of my lack of steadfastness and my feelings of inadequacy, my eyes have totally been inward instead of looking to Jesus and being fixated on Him.

Someone once told me the story of when she was on a tiny, tiny plane, and she was terrified out of her mind. There was no such thing as a smooth ride in a plane this small, and she was sitting diagonal to the pilot. It was her and her nephew and the pilot. That's it. They had taken off, and she was feeling quite nauseated and quite confident she was going to throw up. The pilot told her, "Just look straight ahead at that huge mountain. If you can keep your eyes focused on an object that's not moving and much larger than you, it will help keep you steady during the flight. Keep looking at that mountain!"

You can't ignore the imagery. If I can keep my eyes focused on my unmovable God, it will steady me in the midst of turbulence.

^" Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4