Holding Onto Little Moments

My sweet baby got his first round of immunizations yesterday. Isaac is such a chill baby I seriously very rarely hear him cry. But cry he did when he got stabbed those 3 times in his perfectly soft and squishy thighs. Today his sleeping has been just a little off most of the day. Isaac takes 4 naps a day, and the only good one was the first one. I don't know if I can blame the shots on the poor sleep or if it's purely coincidence. 

At nap number 3 (which is also Nolan's nap, aka- the golden hours), Isaac was again having a hard time staying asleep, which is very unlike him. When I went back in a second time, that little booger had gotten an arm out of his swaddle and was sucking on his hand. When I picked him up and held him close he almost immediately fell asleep in my arms. 

Knowing that with one arm out the likelihood of me getting him to stay asleep after laying him down was quite slim, I decided to hold him.

I'm having a hard time thinking of something I love to do more than hold a sleeping baby, even better, MY sleeping baby. 

So I walked back out to the couch and held my baby close. He would burry his head into my arm occasionally. I'd lean down and kiss his perfect cheeks. And I just sat with my littler boy, knowing these opportunities are fleeting. Forcing myself to accept that these moments are but a blink in the big scheme of things.

Lately I've been trying so hard to figure out what the balance of this motherhood thing is. I love being a mom. I love my boys more than I can possibly put into words. They bring me joy, and I take such delight in them. I can't believe I get to be Mommy to those two and hopefully a few more. But. I still feel passionate about the marginalized people of this world. I'm not convinced that just because I'm a mom to little people that I'm given a pass on the command to give to the poor, care for the needy, and love the unlovely. 

So where's the balance. I'm really wrestling with this. 

But in those 45 minutes of holding my sweet Isaac, I was certain that I didn't need to be anywhere else. And I didn't want to be anywhere else. I desperately want to love these boys of mine well and point them to Jesus. Today, loving Isaac well looked like snuggling him close and helping him get some sleep. While I want him to feel normal tomorrow, I treasure the time I had with him today. The Mommy job description is long, but the snuggling? The snuggling is always a pleasure.