Here we are, about to turn the calendars over again. Really? Another year is about to be completed. In the big picture of our country, this year has felt like a continuous punch to the face. I mean...Donald Trump is our President elect. I'm not even going down that road.
But instead of focusing on the face punches, I want a highlight reel for the Tomberlins.
Community Group- For the first time since we got married, we had a full year of committed and consistent community group. It was amazing. We had to really fight for this, but it.was.worth.it. We've had 2 couples welcome babies. Two couples bought their first houses. One couple walked through unthinkable heartache over the summer. We've eaten together, laughed together, grown together, served each other, prayed for each other, and after 12 months, we still really, really like each other. It's been a gift I didn't know we so badly needed.
We bought a house. Though I really, really thought this wasn't going to happen in 2016, it did! We bought a house in the neighborhood we loved on the very first day of looking at houses. There's been a lot of pros and cons to home ownership, and our to-do list is still about a mile long. But we have loved having a space that is ours. We get to do projects around our house, and though we often feel like our finances will never support our dreams for this place, we enjoy investing time and effort into our space.
One of the things that's really marked our life post house buying is that we enjoy and try to regularly open our home and table to others. Right now over our table it says, "Give thanks." But my heart for our kitchen table is that there's always room for you to belong here. I love having people over for dinner, not in an entertaining sort of way. I never do it fancy. And sometimes it actually does sound fun to make everything look just right, but I've learned to try to let people come be a part of our table as is (though, I do usually wipe it down). I have several meals that are "go-to" meals for when we have people over, and I assure you, NONE of them are fancy!
Beach Vacation. This really doesn't need much of an explanation. A week at the beach with my family was awesome. The last full day there, the waves were crazy big, and the whole day felt perfect. We enjoyed coffee on the gorgeous deck, were complete idiots and swam in the ocean with it's raging waves, and celebrated the dads. That last day was superb perfection.
I'm not pregnant! We are moving forward with our plan to foster/adopt to grow our family. I admit. I was weak right around the time Isaac turned 1. But once that mourning passed, I've held SUPER strong on this issue. It's weird not knowing that there will for sure be a baby in this house soon. Isaac still gets treated like a baby, even though he's just a few weeks away from being the same age Nolan was when Isaac arrived. C R A Z Y!
Counseling. I can't adequately explain the massive positive this was in 2016 for me and our whole family. I was in a tough spot spiritually going into counseling. Not because I was uninterested in my relationship with Christ, but because I felt so incredibly stuck. This was affecting my mom life in a major way. And I still have a long ways to go because- sanctification doesn't just happen after 3.5 months of counseling. But what a difference in my entire being to start focusing on who God is, studying His character, and repenting for all the sin that became just normal stuff. The books I've read, the Scripture I've memorized, it's been life changing. And I'll probably need reminders for the rest of my life to look UP.
WACO. Oh man, oh man! Roadtripping with Adam in October was so much fun!!! Which is good because we literally have not been on a date since that trip. We took that trip to celebrate (a little early) 5 years of marriage. It was amazing to take 5 days to just be Adam and Marissa. AMAZING. When I think back on our time together, I still smile because we so enjoyed being together doing even basic things like working out.
Looking back on the year, there's a lot for me to be thankful for. My family of four has been loved so well by our family and friends. I'm going to be honest, I'm a little nervous headed into 2017 with some recent developments, but I'm choosing to focus on God's faithfulness this year, praise Him for it, and trust that He's still going to be faithful next year, too.
Friday, December 30, 2016
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
One And a Half?
Isaac Dean,
You're one and a half now, and somehow, this feels harder than when you turned 1. The second time around, I knew that fresh one year olds were still very much babies. And, to put it quite plainly, you were a Momma's boy. So, though still a big milestone, it was gentle.
But now. Now I feel my baby slipping away from me. I see you moving more and more into toddlerhood and farther and farther away from babyhood. Praise the Lord your thighs are still quite squishy! But last Thursday, as you, me and Nolan went upstairs to brush teeth, you walked up them. You held onto the wall and walked up the stairs. You didn't crawl. And I just stared at you. With a little bit of sadness in my heart.
I generally try to embrace the growing up. Because there's lots of fun with the new stages. The past 6 months you have been irresistible to your dad and me. So, I can acknowledge that we could be headed for more and more cuteness with you. But I know the disciplining is coming. And so, I just want to pause in this sweetness knowing it has an expiration date.
You still lay that sweet head of yours on my shoulder. You still prefer to suck your thumb while holding my hair. You still call out for Mama when I simply go upstairs to do something. But I know that one time, it will be the last time you do these things. But I won't know to cherish it. Like the whole the stairs thing.
Over the weekend we went to celebrate Alee's birthday, and on Saturday night you woke up at 2 in the morning (very, very rare from you, sir) calling out for me. After off and on whimpering from you, I just laid you on my chest in my bed, and you slept soundly the rest of the night. Here's the thing. It wasn't comfortable for me- at all. My back was aching. I needed to readjust. You were putting your little foot in a really weird spot on my knee, and I didn't like it.
But I just savored every bit of it.
I wasn't doing much sleeping, so I tried to memorize and store up the feeling of you snuggled into me sound asleep. Because it was magical.
Isaac, I adore you and love you and enjoy you. You are a delight, usually. I don't want to freeze time necessarily, but I love this stage of you. Your giggle and voice are the best! When you lift your eyebrows and make your Oh! face, I'm done. You're just the cutest. I love you, sweet boy. At any moment now I know you could switch your allegiance to Daddy. So, each day that you love your Mama so fiercely is a gift!
You are a treasure, Isaac. I love you so much!
Love,
Mama
You're one and a half now, and somehow, this feels harder than when you turned 1. The second time around, I knew that fresh one year olds were still very much babies. And, to put it quite plainly, you were a Momma's boy. So, though still a big milestone, it was gentle.
But now. Now I feel my baby slipping away from me. I see you moving more and more into toddlerhood and farther and farther away from babyhood. Praise the Lord your thighs are still quite squishy! But last Thursday, as you, me and Nolan went upstairs to brush teeth, you walked up them. You held onto the wall and walked up the stairs. You didn't crawl. And I just stared at you. With a little bit of sadness in my heart.
I generally try to embrace the growing up. Because there's lots of fun with the new stages. The past 6 months you have been irresistible to your dad and me. So, I can acknowledge that we could be headed for more and more cuteness with you. But I know the disciplining is coming. And so, I just want to pause in this sweetness knowing it has an expiration date.
You still lay that sweet head of yours on my shoulder. You still prefer to suck your thumb while holding my hair. You still call out for Mama when I simply go upstairs to do something. But I know that one time, it will be the last time you do these things. But I won't know to cherish it. Like the whole the stairs thing.
Over the weekend we went to celebrate Alee's birthday, and on Saturday night you woke up at 2 in the morning (very, very rare from you, sir) calling out for me. After off and on whimpering from you, I just laid you on my chest in my bed, and you slept soundly the rest of the night. Here's the thing. It wasn't comfortable for me- at all. My back was aching. I needed to readjust. You were putting your little foot in a really weird spot on my knee, and I didn't like it.
But I just savored every bit of it.
I wasn't doing much sleeping, so I tried to memorize and store up the feeling of you snuggled into me sound asleep. Because it was magical.
Isaac, I adore you and love you and enjoy you. You are a delight, usually. I don't want to freeze time necessarily, but I love this stage of you. Your giggle and voice are the best! When you lift your eyebrows and make your Oh! face, I'm done. You're just the cutest. I love you, sweet boy. At any moment now I know you could switch your allegiance to Daddy. So, each day that you love your Mama so fiercely is a gift!
You are a treasure, Isaac. I love you so much!
Love,
Mama
Friday, October 14, 2016
I Chose Well
Adam and I went on a 4 night trip to celebrate our 5 year anniversary that's coming up in December. The thing about December is 1. it's already crazy with all of the holiday mayhem and 2. our kids are far more likely to be sick and disrupt our celebratory plans. We know this because the last 2 years their sickness ruined changed the plans we made.
We decided to do a road trip to Waco, Tx instead of a cruise to the Bahamas. And let me just say, we picked the right trip!! Hello, Hurricane Matthew. That plan would've been a disaster.
Adam and I decided that the road trip was going to provide more of the quality time that we wanted. Laid back. No urgency to see any sights. Our own schedule. And the Hampton Inn. Win, win, win, win.
I shed a few tears the day before we left, but for the most part, my anxiety about leaving my boys was quite mild. And once we pulled out of the driveway, there was very little anxious thinking at all. I had full confidence in the grandparent situations. And I was really needing a break.
I really can't put words to the giddy feeling I had for most of the trip. Spending so much uninterrupted time with Adam was so fun, so refreshing, and so needed. Not quite 5 years into marriage, and we're still in the "life is so much more fun together" stage. I'm not sure what I expected marriage to be like at this point, but it wasn't this.
But I'm oh so grateful that this is where we are right now. I'm thankful that we've chosen to embrace each other's differences that could drive us crazy (ok, ok, sometimes they do drive us crazy). I'm thankful that we try to not take things too seriously. We laugh so much and genuinely enjoy being together. I'm thankful for who Adam is as a man and as my husband. I'm thankful that we have real conversations about our crap, our dreams, our fears, and our learnings.
Being away with just Adam made me want to be go away more often. Of course I love and adore my children, but I also know that one of the most loving things I can do for them is to prioritize my marriage.
We got a lot of puzzled looks when we said we were driving to Waco for our anniversary. But, I would do it all over again. I hope I can hold onto how great those 5 days were for a long time. Also, we ate In-n-Out twice in less than 24 hours, and it just felt right. I love that Adam was so on board with that idea.
The fact that our story exists is such a testimony to God's grace in our lives. As the years go by, I'm more and more grateful to God for this man.
I chose well, people. I chose well.
We decided to do a road trip to Waco, Tx instead of a cruise to the Bahamas. And let me just say, we picked the right trip!! Hello, Hurricane Matthew. That plan would've been a disaster.
Adam and I decided that the road trip was going to provide more of the quality time that we wanted. Laid back. No urgency to see any sights. Our own schedule. And the Hampton Inn. Win, win, win, win.
I shed a few tears the day before we left, but for the most part, my anxiety about leaving my boys was quite mild. And once we pulled out of the driveway, there was very little anxious thinking at all. I had full confidence in the grandparent situations. And I was really needing a break.
I really can't put words to the giddy feeling I had for most of the trip. Spending so much uninterrupted time with Adam was so fun, so refreshing, and so needed. Not quite 5 years into marriage, and we're still in the "life is so much more fun together" stage. I'm not sure what I expected marriage to be like at this point, but it wasn't this.
But I'm oh so grateful that this is where we are right now. I'm thankful that we've chosen to embrace each other's differences that could drive us crazy (ok, ok, sometimes they do drive us crazy). I'm thankful that we try to not take things too seriously. We laugh so much and genuinely enjoy being together. I'm thankful for who Adam is as a man and as my husband. I'm thankful that we have real conversations about our crap, our dreams, our fears, and our learnings.
Being away with just Adam made me want to be go away more often. Of course I love and adore my children, but I also know that one of the most loving things I can do for them is to prioritize my marriage.
We got a lot of puzzled looks when we said we were driving to Waco for our anniversary. But, I would do it all over again. I hope I can hold onto how great those 5 days were for a long time. Also, we ate In-n-Out twice in less than 24 hours, and it just felt right. I love that Adam was so on board with that idea.
The fact that our story exists is such a testimony to God's grace in our lives. As the years go by, I'm more and more grateful to God for this man.
I chose well, people. I chose well.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
How Looking At My Sin Has Made Me A Better Mom
Though it's been quiet on the blog for the last 6+ weeks, it rarely is in real life. And I mean that literally and metaphorically.
For the last 7 weeks I've been receiving Biblical counseling from a local church (that's not my own) ministry. It's been not what I expected at all. There is a lot of homework to do each week. There's a lot of reading. And it's.been.amazing.
I'm still in the midst of working through some stuff, but I can already see how God in His kindness and mercy has been doing a good work in my heart.
Nolan and I had some hard days this summer. Days that may have actually felt like weeks. I couldn't figure out what was going on with us. I didn't know who this little boy was that screamed at me in such defiance. I couldn't understand his repeated disobedience. It seemed like I was failing on every front. I was so discouraged. There was a day that Nolan and I went to battle so many times, that when Adam got home from work, he just packed the kids up and left so I could be in the house by myself (that's a good man!!).
Here I was, so sure that God was stirring up dreams and visions for me that He had placed in my heart years ago about bringing the unlovable children into my home and family, and I couldn't even figure out how to mother Nolan. Why in the world would God entrust other people's kids into my care if I couldn't handle the ones I had??
I wrote a blog post back in July that I really and truly wept through as I wrote it (I took it down after 24 hours) because I felt like I was missing out on some of "the best times" of my kid's life because we were having these tough, stubborn battles of the will.
As I started counseling at the end of July, a much needed shift happened for me. I was assigned books and sermons and Bible passages that forced me to look up at my holy, perfect, lacking absolutely nothing God. In the midst of studying His character and attributes, I began to realize just how small, wretched, and desperate Marissa is. I took good, long looks at my sin, and I crumbled to my knees in both gratitude and repentance. The fact that I have been given the righteousness of Christ is beyond humbling.
Somewhere along the way of this life, I started to humanize God and shorten the chasm between me and Him. How pompous of me! It is only because of the work of the Holy Spirit that this wrong and sinful way of thinking is being corrected.
But as God is being returned to His rightful place in my mind and heart, things at home are changing, too. When parenting becomes about me, it will surely end in failure. But as I fix my eyes on Jesus and set my sights on the glory of God, parenting becomes about Him. Making dinner, changing diapers, doing all the laundry, training Nolan to obey, teaching Scripture, going on walks, praying for owies- all for the glory of God. And you know what, that may sound extreme and all too spiritual. I can assure you that I don't wipe booties thinking about who God is, but it's that I've set my heart and my life to be about God's kingdom, God's glory and not my own.
I'm writing this all down not because I think I'm great, but quite the opposite. I think the enemy wants to keep me in a place where I'm sitting on the throne of my own life because it leads to destruction. And I want to be able to come back and remember. Remember that I am a sinful person in need of a Savior and by God's grace alone, I've been rescued.
At church on Sunday we sang the song Ever Be, and I could've easily dissolved into a puddle. As I've been forced to acknowledge my depravity and be so saddened by the condition of my heart, I can't help but want to praise God for His work in me. May His praise always and ever be on my lips!
I'm absolutely and always will be a work in progress, but I'm thankful that there is work in progress in me. All glory to God!
For the last 7 weeks I've been receiving Biblical counseling from a local church (that's not my own) ministry. It's been not what I expected at all. There is a lot of homework to do each week. There's a lot of reading. And it's.been.amazing.
I'm still in the midst of working through some stuff, but I can already see how God in His kindness and mercy has been doing a good work in my heart.
Nolan and I had some hard days this summer. Days that may have actually felt like weeks. I couldn't figure out what was going on with us. I didn't know who this little boy was that screamed at me in such defiance. I couldn't understand his repeated disobedience. It seemed like I was failing on every front. I was so discouraged. There was a day that Nolan and I went to battle so many times, that when Adam got home from work, he just packed the kids up and left so I could be in the house by myself (that's a good man!!).
Here I was, so sure that God was stirring up dreams and visions for me that He had placed in my heart years ago about bringing the unlovable children into my home and family, and I couldn't even figure out how to mother Nolan. Why in the world would God entrust other people's kids into my care if I couldn't handle the ones I had??
I wrote a blog post back in July that I really and truly wept through as I wrote it (I took it down after 24 hours) because I felt like I was missing out on some of "the best times" of my kid's life because we were having these tough, stubborn battles of the will.
As I started counseling at the end of July, a much needed shift happened for me. I was assigned books and sermons and Bible passages that forced me to look up at my holy, perfect, lacking absolutely nothing God. In the midst of studying His character and attributes, I began to realize just how small, wretched, and desperate Marissa is. I took good, long looks at my sin, and I crumbled to my knees in both gratitude and repentance. The fact that I have been given the righteousness of Christ is beyond humbling.
Somewhere along the way of this life, I started to humanize God and shorten the chasm between me and Him. How pompous of me! It is only because of the work of the Holy Spirit that this wrong and sinful way of thinking is being corrected.
But as God is being returned to His rightful place in my mind and heart, things at home are changing, too. When parenting becomes about me, it will surely end in failure. But as I fix my eyes on Jesus and set my sights on the glory of God, parenting becomes about Him. Making dinner, changing diapers, doing all the laundry, training Nolan to obey, teaching Scripture, going on walks, praying for owies- all for the glory of God. And you know what, that may sound extreme and all too spiritual. I can assure you that I don't wipe booties thinking about who God is, but it's that I've set my heart and my life to be about God's kingdom, God's glory and not my own.
I'm writing this all down not because I think I'm great, but quite the opposite. I think the enemy wants to keep me in a place where I'm sitting on the throne of my own life because it leads to destruction. And I want to be able to come back and remember. Remember that I am a sinful person in need of a Savior and by God's grace alone, I've been rescued.
At church on Sunday we sang the song Ever Be, and I could've easily dissolved into a puddle. As I've been forced to acknowledge my depravity and be so saddened by the condition of my heart, I can't help but want to praise God for His work in me. May His praise always and ever be on my lips!
I'm absolutely and always will be a work in progress, but I'm thankful that there is work in progress in me. All glory to God!
Monday, August 1, 2016
A Memory
I had one of those moments yesterday when I was relishing in an Adam memory, and I realized that I needed to get it written down before it gets fuzzy.
It's a story that's been told many times, but it gets told less and less the longer we've been married.
I moved out to Seattle in August of 2010, and on the drive out there is really when Adam and I started texting and never stopped. In the beginning of the school year (I was a teacher- which is crazy!), our communication was sporadic, but we checked in with each other here and there. After all, I was in survival mode. By the time we reached end of October, early November, we kicked the frequency up a notch. Then once we hit December, we really were texting every day, mind you, with a 3 hour time difference [This is crazy to think about now].
When I came home for Christmas break, it was understood that we would hang out, but at this point, there had been no serious feelings discussions at all. I was getting pretty invested though.
So, we hung out a couple of times and with other people, still no feelings talk. We decided to meet at Starbucks to hang out one more time because I was headed to Florida the next day to work FCC Nationals. We played cards and talked at Starbucks for hours. I'm not exaggerating. I think we were there for almost 3 hours.
I needed to go, and as I walked to the car, I decided that I couldn't keep engaging in this weird friendship that was becoming way too important to me. If Adam wasn't interested, I need to pull back. Big time.
So, we said good-bye, and I sat in the car to try and figure out where I was meeting my family for dinner. I listened to my voicemails. And just as I was about to turn the car on to leave, Adam was knocking at the passenger side door. And he looked almost panicked.
I unlocked the doors, and he opened the passenger side door. He said, "Marissa, I think I have feelings for you. I'm so attracted to you, blah blah blah." His speech went on for a few minutes. He told me all really great things, and I tried to keep up. But honestly, my mind was reeling. I had just prepared to start icing Adam out, and here he was saying that he'd move to Seattle for me instead of moving to Cambodia for IJM.
When he finished spilling his heart out, he just looked at me. I now know that he was fully anticipating me to fall into his arms, completely swept up by the romantic gesture he just made. Instead I calmly and plainly asked, "What am I supposed to do with that?"
To which he was stunned.
The conversation that followed is told very differently by the two of us. Actually, the whole story is told differently by us. Adam's version has much more dramatic flair, and surprise, surprise, paints him to be a hero.
We pass by this Starbucks often, and I often smile, as I remember us sitting in the car in late December as the beginning of our relationship really took shape. I can laugh now when I think about how nervous Adam must have been the whole time we were at Starbucks, knowing he needed to come out with it, but playing it so cool that he almost lost his chance with me altogether.
I love to remember the early days of Adam and me because life is full of diapers and tantrums and dishes and exhaustion. There's not a lot of margin for Adam and I to just be husband and wife. Because begin Mommy and Daddy is so beautifully demanding and consuming. But I love the way God wrote our story. I love that He was gentle with my heart, as He knew I needed a friend first.
You can be sure that I've said many a times, "Remember when you said you think you have feelings for me? When were you sure?" To which Adam always responds with, "Remember when I poured out my heart to you and you coldly answered with, 'What am I supposed to with that?'"
I'm so glad he mustered up the courage to turn his car around and come knock on my window. Best Starbucks date yet.
It's a story that's been told many times, but it gets told less and less the longer we've been married.
I moved out to Seattle in August of 2010, and on the drive out there is really when Adam and I started texting and never stopped. In the beginning of the school year (I was a teacher- which is crazy!), our communication was sporadic, but we checked in with each other here and there. After all, I was in survival mode. By the time we reached end of October, early November, we kicked the frequency up a notch. Then once we hit December, we really were texting every day, mind you, with a 3 hour time difference [This is crazy to think about now].
When I came home for Christmas break, it was understood that we would hang out, but at this point, there had been no serious feelings discussions at all. I was getting pretty invested though.
So, we hung out a couple of times and with other people, still no feelings talk. We decided to meet at Starbucks to hang out one more time because I was headed to Florida the next day to work FCC Nationals. We played cards and talked at Starbucks for hours. I'm not exaggerating. I think we were there for almost 3 hours.
I needed to go, and as I walked to the car, I decided that I couldn't keep engaging in this weird friendship that was becoming way too important to me. If Adam wasn't interested, I need to pull back. Big time.
So, we said good-bye, and I sat in the car to try and figure out where I was meeting my family for dinner. I listened to my voicemails. And just as I was about to turn the car on to leave, Adam was knocking at the passenger side door. And he looked almost panicked.
I unlocked the doors, and he opened the passenger side door. He said, "Marissa, I think I have feelings for you. I'm so attracted to you, blah blah blah." His speech went on for a few minutes. He told me all really great things, and I tried to keep up. But honestly, my mind was reeling. I had just prepared to start icing Adam out, and here he was saying that he'd move to Seattle for me instead of moving to Cambodia for IJM.
When he finished spilling his heart out, he just looked at me. I now know that he was fully anticipating me to fall into his arms, completely swept up by the romantic gesture he just made. Instead I calmly and plainly asked, "What am I supposed to do with that?"
To which he was stunned.
The conversation that followed is told very differently by the two of us. Actually, the whole story is told differently by us. Adam's version has much more dramatic flair, and surprise, surprise, paints him to be a hero.
We pass by this Starbucks often, and I often smile, as I remember us sitting in the car in late December as the beginning of our relationship really took shape. I can laugh now when I think about how nervous Adam must have been the whole time we were at Starbucks, knowing he needed to come out with it, but playing it so cool that he almost lost his chance with me altogether.
I love to remember the early days of Adam and me because life is full of diapers and tantrums and dishes and exhaustion. There's not a lot of margin for Adam and I to just be husband and wife. Because begin Mommy and Daddy is so beautifully demanding and consuming. But I love the way God wrote our story. I love that He was gentle with my heart, as He knew I needed a friend first.
You can be sure that I've said many a times, "Remember when you said you think you have feelings for me? When were you sure?" To which Adam always responds with, "Remember when I poured out my heart to you and you coldly answered with, 'What am I supposed to with that?'"
I'm so glad he mustered up the courage to turn his car around and come knock on my window. Best Starbucks date yet.
Friday, July 29, 2016
3 Years Old
I really thought the hardest times of taking the pictures with the bear would be in the first year of life. Wrong again.
He was such a stinker about doing this. Oh, he wanted to do it!! But, he didn't want to cooperate. At all. Which is kind of a snap shot of 3 year old Nolan.
Nolan is in fact 3 years old. He loves swimming in the pool, doing art projects, helping jobs (like setting the table), reading books (loves!!), being independent yet completely dependent all at the same. He is FULL of energy, enthusiasm, and is still one of the most expressive little people I've ever seen in my life.
I've often wondered what this year of life would've looked like without Isaac. I have ZERO regrets that we had another baby so close, I mean, how could we do life without Isaac Dean? But it proved to be a lot on my Nolan man. I'd see glimpses of the most endearing and heart warming bonds forming between these two. And then in a snap things could swing the other direction. Nolan does love Isaac, but he still has some growth in learning how to be kind in the midst of frustration. Which is totally fair in my opinion!
However, his cousins? He loves Ryann and Alee with the most loyal kind of love. They are truly his favorite people outside our home. And even then, I sometimes I wonder where Isaac falls on the list. He takes such delight in being with them, and it's just plain precious to watch. I think as Valor gets older a major switch is going to happen in the dynamics of all the cousin relationships. So, I'm enjoying these days of his sheer joy in those girls.
Nolan's favorite foods are hotdogs, cornbread, watermelon, blueberries, cherries, basically every fruit. He loves when I make spaghetti and meatballs. He still does not like cupcakes with icing on them. He's finally eating quesadillas and even scarfs down chips and salsa. He eats waffles almost every day for breakfast. And he does really like Menchie's frozen yogurt.
Nolan is often hesitant to try new things, and he can easily get worked up when he feels insecure. Like at the beach or when we went to Disney. We pray a lot for God to make us brave when we feel scared. You can hear him say, "Go away, fear. RAWWWWRRRR!" Because he needs to roar at his fear, obviously.
Nolan still loves animals and the zoo. We go often, and he never, ever gets tired of it. He still loves lines, and he'll line things up in stores like pictured above. He loves going to Babies R Us to do hug and enjoy these animals. He's such a silly boy.
Every.single.night. that I put Nolan to bed this past year I sang, "Let It Be Jesus." Every night. Which means, he knows the word, "acclaimed." No clue what it means, but he can sing it at the right time. He can be such a creature of habit. When he first started asking for this song, it sounded a lot like JeJe, the beginning sound of Jesus. And now, well now, sometime his incessant talking and question asking makes us need a moment of silence.
Nolan's a pretty great kid. He's pushing boundaries and pushing buttons, but it's all part of being a 3 year old boy (so I'm told). He's getting so big, and my mushy mom brain can't really process it all fast enough. A year from now I could be getting him ready for preschool. WHAT?!
Oh man, 3 years old, Nolan Alex. How did we get here so quickly?
He was such a stinker about doing this. Oh, he wanted to do it!! But, he didn't want to cooperate. At all. Which is kind of a snap shot of 3 year old Nolan.
Nolan is in fact 3 years old. He loves swimming in the pool, doing art projects, helping jobs (like setting the table), reading books (loves!!), being independent yet completely dependent all at the same. He is FULL of energy, enthusiasm, and is still one of the most expressive little people I've ever seen in my life.
I've often wondered what this year of life would've looked like without Isaac. I have ZERO regrets that we had another baby so close, I mean, how could we do life without Isaac Dean? But it proved to be a lot on my Nolan man. I'd see glimpses of the most endearing and heart warming bonds forming between these two. And then in a snap things could swing the other direction. Nolan does love Isaac, but he still has some growth in learning how to be kind in the midst of frustration. Which is totally fair in my opinion!
However, his cousins? He loves Ryann and Alee with the most loyal kind of love. They are truly his favorite people outside our home. And even then, I sometimes I wonder where Isaac falls on the list. He takes such delight in being with them, and it's just plain precious to watch. I think as Valor gets older a major switch is going to happen in the dynamics of all the cousin relationships. So, I'm enjoying these days of his sheer joy in those girls.
Nolan's favorite foods are hotdogs, cornbread, watermelon, blueberries, cherries, basically every fruit. He loves when I make spaghetti and meatballs. He still does not like cupcakes with icing on them. He's finally eating quesadillas and even scarfs down chips and salsa. He eats waffles almost every day for breakfast. And he does really like Menchie's frozen yogurt.
Nolan is often hesitant to try new things, and he can easily get worked up when he feels insecure. Like at the beach or when we went to Disney. We pray a lot for God to make us brave when we feel scared. You can hear him say, "Go away, fear. RAWWWWRRRR!" Because he needs to roar at his fear, obviously.
Nolan still loves animals and the zoo. We go often, and he never, ever gets tired of it. He still loves lines, and he'll line things up in stores like pictured above. He loves going to Babies R Us to do hug and enjoy these animals. He's such a silly boy.
Every.single.night. that I put Nolan to bed this past year I sang, "Let It Be Jesus." Every night. Which means, he knows the word, "acclaimed." No clue what it means, but he can sing it at the right time. He can be such a creature of habit. When he first started asking for this song, it sounded a lot like JeJe, the beginning sound of Jesus. And now, well now, sometime his incessant talking and question asking makes us need a moment of silence.
Nolan's a pretty great kid. He's pushing boundaries and pushing buttons, but it's all part of being a 3 year old boy (so I'm told). He's getting so big, and my mushy mom brain can't really process it all fast enough. A year from now I could be getting him ready for preschool. WHAT?!
Oh man, 3 years old, Nolan Alex. How did we get here so quickly?
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Happy Birthday, Nolan!
Nolan Alex,
My crazy boy, how are you turning 3 today? How have we landed on July 20th so soon? I cannot understand the way time goes so fast yet so slow.
Yesterday we played a board game together, and I was struck with just how crazy it was that you could understand the concept of a board game. It made me excited and sad all at the same time. The thought of actually filling some of our time with board games sounds so fun! But it's just another reminder that you are taking great strides towards being a big boy.
Man, Nolan, I love you so much. I love being your mom. I love watching your imagination develop and your excitement for all of the things. I love that you are conquering fears and growing in confidence. I love that you really enjoy crafts and being creative. I love who you are becoming.
But sweet little man, let me tell you what. You and I have had it out on some days. You are headstrong, and you have pushed back and challenged authority. Gone are the days where everything Mommy says is right. You have found your voice, and you use it. I have been frustrated and discouraged by your strong will at times. It's truly remarkable. But you know what. Years down the road, I can see how that can be used for good.
I can see that God can redeem that about you and use it to fight in the right ways. To fight for justice and call for righteousness. I can see you stand firm in your beliefs and hold fast to Truth. And lifting my eyes from tunnel vision has been a game changer for this Mama. I see the man you can become, and I love it! I want you to be strong. I want you to say, "No" in the right circumstances. I want you to be sure of who you are.
Nolan, you are my treasure. You are funny and full of energy. You light up any room with your smile and laughter. You carry joy with you, and I love that about you. You take such delight in welcoming people into our home, and I absolutely adore that we have this in common. You are quick to pray for other people. And you are just plain quick. There is simply not enough daylight for you to possibly get all of your energy out. You have recently discovered how happy it makes you to be a helper, and I love looking for ways to let you do just that.
I'm very aware that there are big shifts happening. You ask me to hold you less. You don't come sit with me nearly as often. You are becoming more and more independent. It's exactly what should happen, but it makes my Mama heart ache a little bit. I miss your little body next to mine, so I've come to savor the requests to be held. You are just getting bigger, buddy. I know it's a good thing. But some days, I have to catch my breath. Because I'm realizing too late when I should've relished a "last" with you. Last time you fell asleep in my arms. Last time you grabbed my face and said, "Watch lions!" Last time you asked for "one more."
Nolan Alex Tomberlin, I love you. I like you. I enjoy you. And I'm proud of you. I'll keep telling you that every night before you go to sleep.
Happy Birthday to the boy who made me a Mama! Let's make this year the best year yet!
Love,
Mommy
My crazy boy, how are you turning 3 today? How have we landed on July 20th so soon? I cannot understand the way time goes so fast yet so slow.
Yesterday we played a board game together, and I was struck with just how crazy it was that you could understand the concept of a board game. It made me excited and sad all at the same time. The thought of actually filling some of our time with board games sounds so fun! But it's just another reminder that you are taking great strides towards being a big boy.
Man, Nolan, I love you so much. I love being your mom. I love watching your imagination develop and your excitement for all of the things. I love that you are conquering fears and growing in confidence. I love that you really enjoy crafts and being creative. I love who you are becoming.
But sweet little man, let me tell you what. You and I have had it out on some days. You are headstrong, and you have pushed back and challenged authority. Gone are the days where everything Mommy says is right. You have found your voice, and you use it. I have been frustrated and discouraged by your strong will at times. It's truly remarkable. But you know what. Years down the road, I can see how that can be used for good.
I can see that God can redeem that about you and use it to fight in the right ways. To fight for justice and call for righteousness. I can see you stand firm in your beliefs and hold fast to Truth. And lifting my eyes from tunnel vision has been a game changer for this Mama. I see the man you can become, and I love it! I want you to be strong. I want you to say, "No" in the right circumstances. I want you to be sure of who you are.
Nolan, you are my treasure. You are funny and full of energy. You light up any room with your smile and laughter. You carry joy with you, and I love that about you. You take such delight in welcoming people into our home, and I absolutely adore that we have this in common. You are quick to pray for other people. And you are just plain quick. There is simply not enough daylight for you to possibly get all of your energy out. You have recently discovered how happy it makes you to be a helper, and I love looking for ways to let you do just that.
I'm very aware that there are big shifts happening. You ask me to hold you less. You don't come sit with me nearly as often. You are becoming more and more independent. It's exactly what should happen, but it makes my Mama heart ache a little bit. I miss your little body next to mine, so I've come to savor the requests to be held. You are just getting bigger, buddy. I know it's a good thing. But some days, I have to catch my breath. Because I'm realizing too late when I should've relished a "last" with you. Last time you fell asleep in my arms. Last time you grabbed my face and said, "Watch lions!" Last time you asked for "one more."
Nolan Alex Tomberlin, I love you. I like you. I enjoy you. And I'm proud of you. I'll keep telling you that every night before you go to sleep.
Happy Birthday to the boy who made me a Mama! Let's make this year the best year yet!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
A little bit of this and that just 2 months later...
:: 2 months later and I just put Isaac's birthday thank you notes in the mail today. T W O months later. I try to be pretty prompt with thank you notes, but life has been fast paced lately. In my defense, we did have his party a month after his birthday.
:: We've been in our house for 6.5 weeks with one of those weeks being spent at the beach. The transition to house has been ongoing. I did not expect Nolan or Isaac to have such obvious anxiety when we moved, but they definitely did. Definitely still working through some of those issues. But the great stuff far outweighs the tough stuff. I actually have my Bible reading time and my workout done before getting the kids at 7:30. Mind- blown.
:: Nolan and I have had some tough days with each other. I thought the house would help in a lot of ways, and it certainly did when it comes to Nolan needing some space from Isaac at times. But Nolan also tapped into his crazy, wild side upon moving into the house. I ask myself all too often, "Is this just life with a nearly 3 year old boy or is this life with MY nearly 3 year old boy?" But life with that kiddo has me reading books, listening to podcasts, and praying for wisdom, discernment, and Lord Jesus, please send me all the patience, mercy, and grace. It has been so, so humbling to listen to the way Nolan talks to Isaac and wonder if that's what I sound like to him. So, when I ask Nolan 400 times a day, "Was that kind," I find myself also asking myself, "Are you teaching him what kindness looks like?" Nolan is quite possibly the most expressive, cutest, energetic kid I know right now. And he drives.me.to.my.knees.
:: As much as I love having a house, and I do, there's the voice that I knew wouldn't be silenced just because we have a house asking, "What about the people without houses? And food? And clothes?" The tension is still there, people. We've moved further from the marginalized, and I'm once again looking around wondering, are we missing it? And I have to remind myself, God has my, "yes!" Move downtown? Yes! Move to the lower income housing? Yes! Move deeper into the suburbs? Yes? This I can say with total confidence: I cannot convince Adam to move into one of the neighborhoods I would choose for us, but God can. Our job is to be faithful with today, and I have to trust that God is not speaking in a whisper or writing in hieroglyphics. He wants obedience from us, so He is not giving us instructions that are impossible to decipher. So, God has my, "yes." And I just have to accept that I don't know what that means down the road.
I have an entire post on the dreams God is stirring up in me, but for right now, this is all I can do. I had to break the 2 month long silence. I had to just start somewhere.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Happy Birthday, Isaac Dean
Oh My Isaac Dean,
I can't believe I already have to do this. Weren't you just welcomed into our family like a month ago?
I've got to tell you, Isaac Man, you are the sweetest gift to our family. I don't know that I could've dreamed up a better addition to this crazy Tomberlin tribe. You came into this world, and you settled right into my heart forever. As I carried you for 9 months inside of me, I prayed and wondered and dreamed of what it would be like to have two little boys to call mine. And I just didn't know how perfect you were going to be!
From the very beginning you've been such a laid back, go with the flow little guy. Your tiny self adjusted to life with us so quickly that I kept thinking I was enjoying the calm before the storm. But you didn't bring a storm with you. You just brought peace. And snuggles. I actually cherished our middle of the night feedings in those early days because I just loved holding you close.
Though you brought a ton of peace to my heart, you turned your brother's world upside down. And you've endured a lot as he transitioned. You are tough. You are forgiving. It's almost like you are understanding of Nolan's struggle at times. And really, you love that boy so much, so that helps. You seem more confident when Nolan is around which is odd considering how his treatment towards you is a toss up.
Isaac, I love you so much. I love your little belly that seems to poke out of every shirt I put on you. I love your expressive little eyebrows that are quick to tell me what you think while words can't be formed. I love that you suck your thumb sideways, and that is has to be your left hand. I love that you have figured out how to sit in laps, wave night-night, and how you sign "all done" makes me laugh every time. I take such delight in watching you be you.
As I snuggled you close on your last night of babyhood, I felt overwhelming grateful that I get to call you my son. Though I know lots of great stuff is coming our way, with each passing day you'll take more steps towards independence. Our relationship is going to change, and so I just held you tight and rocked you as I reflected on the blessing that is being your mom. Isaac Dean, more than anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I want your heart to belong to Jesus. I want you to know Him and and know His love. And after that, I want you to know that I love you and I like you just the way you are.
I am so happy that I get to be your Mama. I love you so, baby boy. You are a treasure and a delight. You fit perfectly in our family, and I am excited to watch you grow and see your personality come forth more and more. Your crystal blue eyes, chunky thighs, and little giggle make me melt.
I'll love you forever, Isaac.
Happy Birthday, Buddy!
Love,
Mommy
I can't believe I already have to do this. Weren't you just welcomed into our family like a month ago?
I've got to tell you, Isaac Man, you are the sweetest gift to our family. I don't know that I could've dreamed up a better addition to this crazy Tomberlin tribe. You came into this world, and you settled right into my heart forever. As I carried you for 9 months inside of me, I prayed and wondered and dreamed of what it would be like to have two little boys to call mine. And I just didn't know how perfect you were going to be!
From the very beginning you've been such a laid back, go with the flow little guy. Your tiny self adjusted to life with us so quickly that I kept thinking I was enjoying the calm before the storm. But you didn't bring a storm with you. You just brought peace. And snuggles. I actually cherished our middle of the night feedings in those early days because I just loved holding you close.
Though you brought a ton of peace to my heart, you turned your brother's world upside down. And you've endured a lot as he transitioned. You are tough. You are forgiving. It's almost like you are understanding of Nolan's struggle at times. And really, you love that boy so much, so that helps. You seem more confident when Nolan is around which is odd considering how his treatment towards you is a toss up.
Isaac, I love you so much. I love your little belly that seems to poke out of every shirt I put on you. I love your expressive little eyebrows that are quick to tell me what you think while words can't be formed. I love that you suck your thumb sideways, and that is has to be your left hand. I love that you have figured out how to sit in laps, wave night-night, and how you sign "all done" makes me laugh every time. I take such delight in watching you be you.
As I snuggled you close on your last night of babyhood, I felt overwhelming grateful that I get to call you my son. Though I know lots of great stuff is coming our way, with each passing day you'll take more steps towards independence. Our relationship is going to change, and so I just held you tight and rocked you as I reflected on the blessing that is being your mom. Isaac Dean, more than anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I want your heart to belong to Jesus. I want you to know Him and and know His love. And after that, I want you to know that I love you and I like you just the way you are.
I am so happy that I get to be your Mama. I love you so, baby boy. You are a treasure and a delight. You fit perfectly in our family, and I am excited to watch you grow and see your personality come forth more and more. Your crystal blue eyes, chunky thighs, and little giggle make me melt.
I'll love you forever, Isaac.
Happy Birthday, Buddy!
Love,
Mommy
12 Months. 1 Year.
Well. It happened. April 22, 2016 rolled around, and though I tried to stop it, Isaac Dean Tomberlin turned 1. He went to bed on Thursday just like any other day, and then he woke up on Friday a 1 year old.
And the best way I can describe it this time around is the bitter is more bitter and the sweet is sweeter when I say it's bittersweet to hit this milestone. I know every child is different. I loved 1 year old Nolan, and I look forward to 1 year old Isaac. But I also know parenting takes a huge shift here. The toughest training I did with Isaac this first year was sleep training, and quite honestly, it was easy peasy. The training that's ahead of me, probably not going to be easy peasy.
Isaac had his first Easter. He did not care one bit. He really did love the Easter eggs because they were the perfect size to hold and shake. But really, it was just another Sunday.
Isaac still strongly favors me, and I'm not concerned about it at this point. Honestly, it's made his first birthday a little more gentle on me. He's doing better with other family members, which is a relief! But I can't deny the fact that I love the way he likes to check in with me regularly for a quick thumb suck and hair hold.
Isaac is starting to stand up for himself when it comes to Nolan's roughness. AND I LOVE IT! Adam and I both quietly cheer him on when he pushes back or grunts at Nolan. He's also starting to show some signs of tantrums coming. He is such an easy going kid, but I've seen him get legitimately mad a few times when I've done something as simple as taking a toy away. I think it's a sign of things to come.
Isaac scrunches up his face in just the cutest way when he's excited. He does it a lot when he's walking around as quickly as he can. And when he has a ladle in his hand-- forget about it. He walks with his cute growing belly pushed forward, and I smile every time. He still loves baths. He dominates just about everything I put on his tray. And he LOVES my parents' dog. One thing that's still really lovely about Isaac is that given the right circumstances (a long day at the zoo), he'll still take a quick snooze on me in the ergo. That's a win for me!!
Adam and I looked at videos of life at this time a year ago, and we are well aware of just how much changes in a year. I want to be present in these days and enjoy them. I do have a lot of emotions about this boy turning 1. We are not trying to get pregnant right now, like we were when Nolan turned 1, so I don't know when there will be another baby in my home. And that makes me a little sad. I wouldn't say that I'm one who is "baby crazy," but that first year is something special.
I am so grateful for our precious Isaac. I'm thankful that God delivered him in such a peaceful way (I won't ever forget that!), and that I'll always have a story of God's faithfulness when I think back to his birth. I love our Isaac Dean!
And the best way I can describe it this time around is the bitter is more bitter and the sweet is sweeter when I say it's bittersweet to hit this milestone. I know every child is different. I loved 1 year old Nolan, and I look forward to 1 year old Isaac. But I also know parenting takes a huge shift here. The toughest training I did with Isaac this first year was sleep training, and quite honestly, it was easy peasy. The training that's ahead of me, probably not going to be easy peasy.
Isaac had his first Easter. He did not care one bit. He really did love the Easter eggs because they were the perfect size to hold and shake. But really, it was just another Sunday.
Isaac still strongly favors me, and I'm not concerned about it at this point. Honestly, it's made his first birthday a little more gentle on me. He's doing better with other family members, which is a relief! But I can't deny the fact that I love the way he likes to check in with me regularly for a quick thumb suck and hair hold.
Isaac scrunches up his face in just the cutest way when he's excited. He does it a lot when he's walking around as quickly as he can. And when he has a ladle in his hand-- forget about it. He walks with his cute growing belly pushed forward, and I smile every time. He still loves baths. He dominates just about everything I put on his tray. And he LOVES my parents' dog. One thing that's still really lovely about Isaac is that given the right circumstances (a long day at the zoo), he'll still take a quick snooze on me in the ergo. That's a win for me!!
Adam and I looked at videos of life at this time a year ago, and we are well aware of just how much changes in a year. I want to be present in these days and enjoy them. I do have a lot of emotions about this boy turning 1. We are not trying to get pregnant right now, like we were when Nolan turned 1, so I don't know when there will be another baby in my home. And that makes me a little sad. I wouldn't say that I'm one who is "baby crazy," but that first year is something special.
I am so grateful for our precious Isaac. I'm thankful that God delivered him in such a peaceful way (I won't ever forget that!), and that I'll always have a story of God's faithfulness when I think back to his birth. I love our Isaac Dean!
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
When Motherhood Feels...Like A Lot!
I had to take a shower as soon as I put the boys down for their naps. I mean, I did work out earlier, but more importantly, I wanted to wash away any remnants of the morning. Can a shower do that? I was weary from the battles I faced with my toddler, and I was weary from the battles I fight within my own self on mornings like these.
I am so quick, so quick, to believe the best for other parents. I don't know your life, and I'm certainly not going to make snap judgements off of a 30 second encounter I witness. When people tell stories about poor behavior they witness, in my head I'm pleading, "But you don't know what their day looked like. You can't see the whole story!"
But it's a different story for myself.
Nolan has been wearing.me.down. The consequences have varied. The pep-talks a plenty. The reminders constant. These last few days have been tough. And it seems like nothing is sticking. Nothing.
And it's days like today when motherhood doesn't feel sanctifying, it feels exhausting. It feels horribly discouraging and lonely. Like I want to look to the right and to the left to see if anyone else is failing alongside of me, but I choose to just run my race. I resist the urge to play the comparison game and instead choose to lift my eyes up.
As I stood in the shower letting the water wash over me, I replayed my view of our morning in my head over and over. How I lost my patience and spoke too harshly. How I was a far cry from slow to anger. How I let offenses build on one another instead of truly forgiving with each repentance my 2 year old offered (genuine or not). It looked ugly from my point of view. It looked like a mom operating out of her own strength and her own flesh. And the heaviness of my failures was a bit much for me.
So, I just asked, "Jesus, can you show me where you were all morning? Like, really show me where you were in these scenarios!"
And you know what came to mind? A whole different set of happenings this morning. When I hit my elbow on the chair and grabbed it out of pain, Nolan immediately prayed, "God, come be with Mommy. Help her owie. Help her comfort. Amen." And Nolan hugging my neck and saying he loved me randomly after helping him go potty. And so different scenes replayed in my head.
I can see Jesus in the both sets of circumstances. And I have to fight the urge to believe He's only happy with me in one set of them. That He's not disappointed with my effort.
I've heard many, many times that I cannot let my children's behavior, good or bad, define me as a mom. I love this quote from a book (Hope Unfolding by Becky Thompson) I just read, "But the truth is, when we look to our kids to find security in our parenting, we will only be left feeling disappointed. Not because they are a disappointment, but because their need for a perfect Savior does not indicate our failure as mothers. It simply means that they need Jesus just as much as we do." And so what I hope to do in the midst of these tough mornings is give my kids what they need most, which is Jesus.
Because it's what I need too.
This mom life is no joke.
And as I have the luxury of getting a "reset" at nap time (and I do know it's a luxury!), I choose to trade in this guilt for forgiveness. I choose to lean into Grace instead of sinking into defeat. I choose to offer up a heart of repentance and receive newness. Right now.
I am so quick, so quick, to believe the best for other parents. I don't know your life, and I'm certainly not going to make snap judgements off of a 30 second encounter I witness. When people tell stories about poor behavior they witness, in my head I'm pleading, "But you don't know what their day looked like. You can't see the whole story!"
But it's a different story for myself.
Nolan has been wearing.me.down. The consequences have varied. The pep-talks a plenty. The reminders constant. These last few days have been tough. And it seems like nothing is sticking. Nothing.
And it's days like today when motherhood doesn't feel sanctifying, it feels exhausting. It feels horribly discouraging and lonely. Like I want to look to the right and to the left to see if anyone else is failing alongside of me, but I choose to just run my race. I resist the urge to play the comparison game and instead choose to lift my eyes up.
As I stood in the shower letting the water wash over me, I replayed my view of our morning in my head over and over. How I lost my patience and spoke too harshly. How I was a far cry from slow to anger. How I let offenses build on one another instead of truly forgiving with each repentance my 2 year old offered (genuine or not). It looked ugly from my point of view. It looked like a mom operating out of her own strength and her own flesh. And the heaviness of my failures was a bit much for me.
So, I just asked, "Jesus, can you show me where you were all morning? Like, really show me where you were in these scenarios!"
And you know what came to mind? A whole different set of happenings this morning. When I hit my elbow on the chair and grabbed it out of pain, Nolan immediately prayed, "God, come be with Mommy. Help her owie. Help her comfort. Amen." And Nolan hugging my neck and saying he loved me randomly after helping him go potty. And so different scenes replayed in my head.
I can see Jesus in the both sets of circumstances. And I have to fight the urge to believe He's only happy with me in one set of them. That He's not disappointed with my effort.
I've heard many, many times that I cannot let my children's behavior, good or bad, define me as a mom. I love this quote from a book (Hope Unfolding by Becky Thompson) I just read, "But the truth is, when we look to our kids to find security in our parenting, we will only be left feeling disappointed. Not because they are a disappointment, but because their need for a perfect Savior does not indicate our failure as mothers. It simply means that they need Jesus just as much as we do." And so what I hope to do in the midst of these tough mornings is give my kids what they need most, which is Jesus.
Because it's what I need too.
This mom life is no joke.
And as I have the luxury of getting a "reset" at nap time (and I do know it's a luxury!), I choose to trade in this guilt for forgiveness. I choose to lean into Grace instead of sinking into defeat. I choose to offer up a heart of repentance and receive newness. Right now.
Monday, March 28, 2016
11 Months-- Hold Me
I'm choosing not to dwell on the fact that my baby is almost 1. Instead, I'm just enjoying the squishy and delightful baby that he is. Because he is still a baby right now.
Isaac is WALKING. And I don't just mean he's taking a few steps here and there. I mean, he's walking. He walks, and when he falls down, he stands back up to resume the walking. His preferred mode of transportation is walking. So, it's just a matter of time before those thighs thin out and firm up. Insert: tears.
Isaac is still very much a Mama's boy. He still has a hard time being left in the nursery. He'll regularly come up to me to hold my hair and suck his thumb almost as if to recharge his Mama battery. He did AMAZING when we left him overnight with my parents. We were all a little nervous he'd struggle, but for those 24 hours, "out of sight, out of mind" was actually true.
Isaac has been a champion of an eater. He ate fistfuls of asparagus. What? He does, however, not eat Chick-fil-a enthusiastically, which has been really tough. I know that he'll eventually come around, but how could one of my children not love Chick-fil-a?? It just doesn't seem possible.
Isaac has 6 teeth right now. It doesn't look like any more are coming down anytime soon. And for the record, his eyes are still very, very blue.
This precious boy is almost 1. I can hardly believe it. Last Easter I was very pregnant and hoping to be pregnant for at least another week. Being a family of 4 seems so normal now, that it's crazy that a year ago Isaac wasn't even here with us on the outside. I'm so glad we have this boy in our lives. He's the sweetest baby and perfect addition to our family.
Isaac is WALKING. And I don't just mean he's taking a few steps here and there. I mean, he's walking. He walks, and when he falls down, he stands back up to resume the walking. His preferred mode of transportation is walking. So, it's just a matter of time before those thighs thin out and firm up. Insert: tears.
Isaac is still very much a Mama's boy. He still has a hard time being left in the nursery. He'll regularly come up to me to hold my hair and suck his thumb almost as if to recharge his Mama battery. He did AMAZING when we left him overnight with my parents. We were all a little nervous he'd struggle, but for those 24 hours, "out of sight, out of mind" was actually true.
Isaac has been a champion of an eater. He ate fistfuls of asparagus. What? He does, however, not eat Chick-fil-a enthusiastically, which has been really tough. I know that he'll eventually come around, but how could one of my children not love Chick-fil-a?? It just doesn't seem possible.
Isaac has 6 teeth right now. It doesn't look like any more are coming down anytime soon. And for the record, his eyes are still very, very blue.
This precious boy is almost 1. I can hardly believe it. Last Easter I was very pregnant and hoping to be pregnant for at least another week. Being a family of 4 seems so normal now, that it's crazy that a year ago Isaac wasn't even here with us on the outside. I'm so glad we have this boy in our lives. He's the sweetest baby and perfect addition to our family.
Monday, March 21, 2016
That Time I Thought I'd Write More
Back in January, when people naturally evaluate things to change for the upcoming year, I thought to myself, "I really, really want to commit to writing more." And not because I have an audience demanding it (hardly), but because I think it's so valuable for me. I never vocalized this thought, and I'm really glad I didn't. Because I have been 0% successful.
There have been many, many times when I've had stuff rolling around in my head and heart, and I knew that writing would help. But when nap time comes around, it's a lot easier to use those 2 hours for folding laundry uninterrupted, working out uninterrupted, showering uninterrupted, or reading a magazine uninterrupted. Notice a theme?
And now I'm at this point where I think I've forgotten how to write a post that actually pulls all of my thoughts together instead of random tidbits that can't seem to intersect. Because if there's one post I can nail, it's a monthly update post about my babies.
But in these first nearly 4 months of 2016, there has been a lot of wrestling for the Tomberlins, this one especially. Adam and I decided we would watch less Netflix, read more together, and spend time in the quiet instead of always assuming that the hours after the boys go to bed would be spent "unwinding" from the day by doing mindless things. I'm all about balance here, peeps. We still watch The Office at least once a week! And it is March Madness.
All that to say, there's been extra time to sit and discuss the struggle. We read You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. I've been reading through The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. (We're about to start The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.) And we've talked ourselves in circles time and time again about these issues that keep popping up for us.
Adam and I have been discussing for over a year off and on, but definitely ON lately, about what it looks like to be faithful with the Gospel. What does it look like to "associate with the lowly (Romans 12:16)" and "pour yourself out for the hungry (Isaiah 58:10), and be a "doer of the word (James 1:22)" right here, right now in this stage of life? Are we making disciples right now? Is my life proclaiming the Kingdom?
It's been tough and heavy and frustrating to talk through this. We started our house hunt in June/July of 2015. When we hit January with mounting discouragement and confusion about the process, we really started reevaluating a lot. We started wondering if maybe we needed to be strategic about where we positioned ourselves. If Jesus cares so much about the poor, could we potentially move into a very low-income neighborhood? Should we put Clarkston back on the table? We sought out wise counsel to help us work through the tensions we'd been experiencing as we felt very convicted reading through the Chans' book.
Conversation after conversation only built up more frustration for me. I feel strongly about "the least of these," and the message I kept getting from ladies ahead of me was this: the season you're in- raising young children- is just that, a season. I still didn't feel like that's a good enough answer, so I found myself feeling more and more isolated in this tension I was feeling. Motherhood can be isolating in itself, the last thing I wanted was an extra measure of it.
It didn't look like Adam was going to be eager to do the whole low income neighborhood thing, but he was definitely open to it. We drove to the poorest part of Roswell to see the government funded housing, and we just prayed on the street, asking God for some direction. We felt lost. We had all of this tension but we had no sense of what to do with it.
And so it brought me to a place of surrender that looked a lot like this- God, I feel so stuck and confused, and I can't hear you right now!! I can't discern what this next step of life should look like. I want my life to be used for Your glory, even if it doesn't look like moving into poverty like I envision it should. So, I give up (layman's terms for 'surrender').
And then a house came on the market in the neighborhood we loved on our very first day of looking at houses back in July. So now we prepare to move to a nice, mostly well-off neighborhood into a house that I really am very excited to make our own. But I don't know how long it will be before I face the same tensions Adam and I have been wrestling through for months. We are determined to steward this house well and be intentional with our neighbors. And I am trusting that as I keep my hands and heart open before the Lord, He is more than capable of speaking to us and using us right where we are. And I can't help but believe that everything that's been brewing is for a purpose. God is working something out in us, even if I can't see the whole picture yet.
But this felt like something I needed to write down to remember. So I can look back one day and see how God was using this time to refine us and make us look to Him.
There have been many, many times when I've had stuff rolling around in my head and heart, and I knew that writing would help. But when nap time comes around, it's a lot easier to use those 2 hours for folding laundry uninterrupted, working out uninterrupted, showering uninterrupted, or reading a magazine uninterrupted. Notice a theme?
And now I'm at this point where I think I've forgotten how to write a post that actually pulls all of my thoughts together instead of random tidbits that can't seem to intersect. Because if there's one post I can nail, it's a monthly update post about my babies.
But in these first nearly 4 months of 2016, there has been a lot of wrestling for the Tomberlins, this one especially. Adam and I decided we would watch less Netflix, read more together, and spend time in the quiet instead of always assuming that the hours after the boys go to bed would be spent "unwinding" from the day by doing mindless things. I'm all about balance here, peeps. We still watch The Office at least once a week! And it is March Madness.
All that to say, there's been extra time to sit and discuss the struggle. We read You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. I've been reading through The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. (We're about to start The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.) And we've talked ourselves in circles time and time again about these issues that keep popping up for us.
Adam and I have been discussing for over a year off and on, but definitely ON lately, about what it looks like to be faithful with the Gospel. What does it look like to "associate with the lowly (Romans 12:16)" and "pour yourself out for the hungry (Isaiah 58:10), and be a "doer of the word (James 1:22)" right here, right now in this stage of life? Are we making disciples right now? Is my life proclaiming the Kingdom?
It's been tough and heavy and frustrating to talk through this. We started our house hunt in June/July of 2015. When we hit January with mounting discouragement and confusion about the process, we really started reevaluating a lot. We started wondering if maybe we needed to be strategic about where we positioned ourselves. If Jesus cares so much about the poor, could we potentially move into a very low-income neighborhood? Should we put Clarkston back on the table? We sought out wise counsel to help us work through the tensions we'd been experiencing as we felt very convicted reading through the Chans' book.
Conversation after conversation only built up more frustration for me. I feel strongly about "the least of these," and the message I kept getting from ladies ahead of me was this: the season you're in- raising young children- is just that, a season. I still didn't feel like that's a good enough answer, so I found myself feeling more and more isolated in this tension I was feeling. Motherhood can be isolating in itself, the last thing I wanted was an extra measure of it.
It didn't look like Adam was going to be eager to do the whole low income neighborhood thing, but he was definitely open to it. We drove to the poorest part of Roswell to see the government funded housing, and we just prayed on the street, asking God for some direction. We felt lost. We had all of this tension but we had no sense of what to do with it.
And so it brought me to a place of surrender that looked a lot like this- God, I feel so stuck and confused, and I can't hear you right now!! I can't discern what this next step of life should look like. I want my life to be used for Your glory, even if it doesn't look like moving into poverty like I envision it should. So, I give up (layman's terms for 'surrender').
And then a house came on the market in the neighborhood we loved on our very first day of looking at houses back in July. So now we prepare to move to a nice, mostly well-off neighborhood into a house that I really am very excited to make our own. But I don't know how long it will be before I face the same tensions Adam and I have been wrestling through for months. We are determined to steward this house well and be intentional with our neighbors. And I am trusting that as I keep my hands and heart open before the Lord, He is more than capable of speaking to us and using us right where we are. And I can't help but believe that everything that's been brewing is for a purpose. God is working something out in us, even if I can't see the whole picture yet.
But this felt like something I needed to write down to remember. So I can look back one day and see how God was using this time to refine us and make us look to Him.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Looking Back
My memory is not what it used to be, and I worry what's going to happen in a few years. So, I keep wanting to make sure I write down the memories that I don't want to forget. Even though what I'll probably end up remembering is the written down version. It's better than nothing.
Adam and I are well suited for each other for several reasons. We love being outside. We both like to eat. I love to bake, and Adam loves dessert. I really love to laugh, and Adam feels really loved when people find him funny. I am genuinely perplexed by couples who don't laugh a lot (and don't care if they do or don't) because that is all I know.
When Adam and I were dating and engaged in Seattle together, we were just so happy to be living near each other that those months prior to marriage were really sweet and really fun. Sometimes we would get out of the car at a store and one of us would yell, "Race you," and we'd immediately take off in a sprint to the front door. Adam would often run in a very dramatic fashion, and I would always end up in a fit of laughter by the time we reached the front of the store. Looking back on those times, I'm really glad that people often thought I was a teenager because that behavior seems more acceptable from kids. Nonetheless, I love remembering those days of being so happy to do anything together.
We spent hours that first summer together at parks playing frisbee. Summers in Seattle were absolute perfection. Going to the plethora of parks was free entertainment. Playing in those open fields barefoot was pretty much my picture perfect day. We had all the time in the world and no money. I'm so, so thankful for that glorious summer when I was on summer break and Adam didn't have a job yet.
As we are about to head into yet another March Madness, I look back with such great fondness on our first married March Madness. Adam didn't have a job. We didn't have tv. I can't remember if we even had reliable internet at this point. But it was the SEC tournament, and we couldn't access the game however we normally watched games (had to have been poor internet). So, Adam and I got up early Saturday morning, being that we were on the West Coast, and we found a sports bar that was open for breakfast who put the game on for us. We stayed there for the whole game, eating breakfast and cheering on the Cats. The next morning it was the same situation, and we found ourselves in our comfy clothes back at the same bar cheering on the Cats. This time there were a few other UK fans in there for the championship game.
Anytime I reference those mornings at the sports bar Adam always laughs and asks why I loved those mornings so much. And I can't really say why. That March is what got me really sucked into Kentucky basketball, and there was just something special about major splurging on two back to back breakfasts out to cheer on the Cats because we couldn't get the game on TV. It really is the simple things in life that leave an impression.
We saw the sweetest elderly couple at Chick-fil-a tonight. They sat in the booth behind us. We watched them walk in. The man was carrying his wife's oxygen tank and being so attentive to her as they found a place to sit. They gushed over our boys and interacted with us off and on during the whole meal. It was absolutely heart melting to watch the two of them together. Adam and I joked that we could so easily see us coming to Chick-Fil-A together even when we were on oxygen.
And as I kept watching them as they walked out to the car, I looked at my man with confidence that I had chosen well. I don't doubt for a second that if God gives Adam and I that many years together we'll be laughing with our oxygen in tow. And it was a gentle reminder that this marriage we've got is a beautiful thing, and it's an opportunity to invite people into the Gospel message. Oh that we would love each other so well that people could see Jesus in us!
Some days I wish Adam and I had more time before embarking on this amazing, sanctifying, exhausting journey of parenthood. But I am filled to overflowing with gratefulness that Adam is mine, and I am his. And I treasure the times we've shared together, and I can only hope for millions more.
Adam and I are well suited for each other for several reasons. We love being outside. We both like to eat. I love to bake, and Adam loves dessert. I really love to laugh, and Adam feels really loved when people find him funny. I am genuinely perplexed by couples who don't laugh a lot (and don't care if they do or don't) because that is all I know.
When Adam and I were dating and engaged in Seattle together, we were just so happy to be living near each other that those months prior to marriage were really sweet and really fun. Sometimes we would get out of the car at a store and one of us would yell, "Race you," and we'd immediately take off in a sprint to the front door. Adam would often run in a very dramatic fashion, and I would always end up in a fit of laughter by the time we reached the front of the store. Looking back on those times, I'm really glad that people often thought I was a teenager because that behavior seems more acceptable from kids. Nonetheless, I love remembering those days of being so happy to do anything together.
We spent hours that first summer together at parks playing frisbee. Summers in Seattle were absolute perfection. Going to the plethora of parks was free entertainment. Playing in those open fields barefoot was pretty much my picture perfect day. We had all the time in the world and no money. I'm so, so thankful for that glorious summer when I was on summer break and Adam didn't have a job yet.
As we are about to head into yet another March Madness, I look back with such great fondness on our first married March Madness. Adam didn't have a job. We didn't have tv. I can't remember if we even had reliable internet at this point. But it was the SEC tournament, and we couldn't access the game however we normally watched games (had to have been poor internet). So, Adam and I got up early Saturday morning, being that we were on the West Coast, and we found a sports bar that was open for breakfast who put the game on for us. We stayed there for the whole game, eating breakfast and cheering on the Cats. The next morning it was the same situation, and we found ourselves in our comfy clothes back at the same bar cheering on the Cats. This time there were a few other UK fans in there for the championship game.
Anytime I reference those mornings at the sports bar Adam always laughs and asks why I loved those mornings so much. And I can't really say why. That March is what got me really sucked into Kentucky basketball, and there was just something special about major splurging on two back to back breakfasts out to cheer on the Cats because we couldn't get the game on TV. It really is the simple things in life that leave an impression.
We saw the sweetest elderly couple at Chick-fil-a tonight. They sat in the booth behind us. We watched them walk in. The man was carrying his wife's oxygen tank and being so attentive to her as they found a place to sit. They gushed over our boys and interacted with us off and on during the whole meal. It was absolutely heart melting to watch the two of them together. Adam and I joked that we could so easily see us coming to Chick-Fil-A together even when we were on oxygen.
And as I kept watching them as they walked out to the car, I looked at my man with confidence that I had chosen well. I don't doubt for a second that if God gives Adam and I that many years together we'll be laughing with our oxygen in tow. And it was a gentle reminder that this marriage we've got is a beautiful thing, and it's an opportunity to invite people into the Gospel message. Oh that we would love each other so well that people could see Jesus in us!
Some days I wish Adam and I had more time before embarking on this amazing, sanctifying, exhausting journey of parenthood. But I am filled to overflowing with gratefulness that Adam is mine, and I am his. And I treasure the times we've shared together, and I can only hope for millions more.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
T E N months
We're on a very fast downhill sprint towards this little boy's first birthday, and I just can't handle it. I'm not one to say, "Where has the time gone?" But in this instance, WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE? It seems like a few weeks ago we were wrestling through the decision of whether I should be induced or not. And now this. Now my baby is speed crawling towards toddlerhood.
Isaac is currently hardcore fighting his afternoon nap. He's got 3 (maybe 4) teeth coming in all at the same time, and it's made for some hard times for him. He's truly handled it like a champ. He hasn't wanted to eat as ferociously as he normally does, and he's wanted a little bit more of Mommy (read: a lot more). But I've been quite pleased with his pain tolerance at this point.
Isaac is standing on his own and often. He likes to stand up and just clap for himself. I mean, who doesn't need a good standing ovation every once in a while?
Isaac had his first hotdog this month, and he's a fan!! He's tried lots of new foods, and he's been pretty easy-going about the process. I'm ready to introduce peanut butter as recommended by the pediatrician. But I'm nervous about it, just like I was with Nolan. Isaac has eaten scrambled egg, and that's a huge win in my book.
This little guy has NOT been a fan of being left in the church nursery. He's doing better, but this past Sunday when Adam walked down the hall towards his room he started crying. Made me sad. I left Nolan a lot more frequently than I've left Isaac, since I was coaching during his first 8 months of life. Isaac has a lot of Mama time, and he's not complaining about it.
Isaac has started to get the concept of cleaning up the cars, and he verrrry slowly helps put cars in the tote, and it might be the cutest thing ever.
Other cute Isaac-isms: sucking his thumb to the side while he holds my hair, his expressive little eyebrows which he raises quite frequently, and his naked booty crawl towards the tub as soon as we take his clothes off.
Not so cute Isaac-isms: he's started dropping food of his tray at the table, he talk/yells very loudly when he's not pleased with the speed in which he's being fed, and in the last week or so he's started getting up at 7 instead of 7:30, but honestly- I don't think I can even complain about that.
One thing I really, really love and cherish about my babies is their soft and squishy thighs. I love them. LOVE them. But as I've mentioned before, you can't really do much to capture that piece of babyhood. Pictures and videos are great, but I want to always remember how these soft baby thighs felt in my hands. I've been having Isaac go pantless a lot more frequently, so I can enjoy his full and soft thighs before they becoming walking/running/jumping legs.
I'm all kinds of mushy for my baby boy these days.
Isaac is currently hardcore fighting his afternoon nap. He's got 3 (maybe 4) teeth coming in all at the same time, and it's made for some hard times for him. He's truly handled it like a champ. He hasn't wanted to eat as ferociously as he normally does, and he's wanted a little bit more of Mommy (read: a lot more). But I've been quite pleased with his pain tolerance at this point.
Isaac is standing on his own and often. He likes to stand up and just clap for himself. I mean, who doesn't need a good standing ovation every once in a while?
Isaac had his first hotdog this month, and he's a fan!! He's tried lots of new foods, and he's been pretty easy-going about the process. I'm ready to introduce peanut butter as recommended by the pediatrician. But I'm nervous about it, just like I was with Nolan. Isaac has eaten scrambled egg, and that's a huge win in my book.
This little guy has NOT been a fan of being left in the church nursery. He's doing better, but this past Sunday when Adam walked down the hall towards his room he started crying. Made me sad. I left Nolan a lot more frequently than I've left Isaac, since I was coaching during his first 8 months of life. Isaac has a lot of Mama time, and he's not complaining about it.
Isaac has started to get the concept of cleaning up the cars, and he verrrry slowly helps put cars in the tote, and it might be the cutest thing ever.
Other cute Isaac-isms: sucking his thumb to the side while he holds my hair, his expressive little eyebrows which he raises quite frequently, and his naked booty crawl towards the tub as soon as we take his clothes off.
Not so cute Isaac-isms: he's started dropping food of his tray at the table, he talk/yells very loudly when he's not pleased with the speed in which he's being fed, and in the last week or so he's started getting up at 7 instead of 7:30, but honestly- I don't think I can even complain about that.
One thing I really, really love and cherish about my babies is their soft and squishy thighs. I love them. LOVE them. But as I've mentioned before, you can't really do much to capture that piece of babyhood. Pictures and videos are great, but I want to always remember how these soft baby thighs felt in my hands. I've been having Isaac go pantless a lot more frequently, so I can enjoy his full and soft thighs before they becoming walking/running/jumping legs.
I'm all kinds of mushy for my baby boy these days.
Sunday, January 24, 2016
9 Months
This happy boy is 9 months old. I've said this numerous times in Isaac's life, but I love this stage in babyhood.
Isaac is still a big fan of the bath. At 7 each night, Isaac can really start unraveling, but when you put him in the bath-- this happens! All smiles. He somehow just completely loses the sleepy sadness, and he becomes so happy all over again.
Isaac had his first Christmas. He could not have cared less. As previously mentioned, Isaac had a pretty rough Christmas Eve, but Christmas day was fine because he was kept comfortable with Motrin and Tylenol.
Isaac really loved the Christmas tree, and he really, really loved going for that sock monkey ornament whenever he could. My parents got him that ornament, and it was like he knew it was his.
Isaac has started to prefer eating whatever we're eating. That's a nice cornbread mess he made. He's eaten Chick-fil-a nuggets, meatballs, hamburger, cooked celery and carrots, pancakes, black/kidney/white beans, strawberries, bananas, toast, and probably a lot more that I can't remember. And Isaac has officially started to get HANGRY. When he wants to eat, he wants to eat immediately!
Isaac is pulling himself up on everything he can. But he often stands on his toes like above pictured. He's starting to take less and less tumbles, too. Which is nice!
This is Isaac's preferred way to suck his thumb. Thumb in mouth, my hair in his other hand. Sometimes he even tries to grab my hair and accompany it with his thumb. That's not my favorite.
Isaac has gotten 2 teeth. The pediatrician thinks his top teeth will be dropping in any day. Sarcastic yay!
Isaac has started to show that he really loves me. And I mean that by the fact that he prefers I hold him. He likes to be near me even if we're all just playing on the ground. He's not quite to the status of a koala baby, but some days he's close. He'll come crawl up to me while I'm sitting down and just lay his head in my lap while he sucks his thumb. It's pretty sweet.
I've been feeling pretty mushy for this little guy. A family I know up in North Carolina at my brother's church has walked the unfathomable road of losing one of their children. Their precious little girl, Sarah, was born just a week before Isaac. She was born with an incomplete heart, and that precious baby fought for a tough 9 months. But she died this past week. It's been heart wrenching to follow their journey. I've cried and cried for this family's loss, for that Mama who held her daughter's body as she left earth for heaven, for the reality that we live in a broken world where babies die of unhealthy hearts. It's been overwhelming at times. So I've held my Isaac a little tighter, a little longer (as much as the squirmster will allow). I've taken more pictures of the boys. I'm well aware that I have 2 healthy children in my home, and they are gifts.
It's been a tough week for me as I've pleaded to God to save Sarah. He chose not to heal her on this side of Heaven. But as I hold Isaac before each nap and bedtime, I humbly thank Him for entrusting this baby into my care. Because I know he's not mine. He ultimately belongs to Jesus, and this week has been a good reminder to love my boys well while I have them.
It's been a tough week for me as I've pleaded to God to save Sarah. He chose not to heal her on this side of Heaven. But as I hold Isaac before each nap and bedtime, I humbly thank Him for entrusting this baby into my care. Because I know he's not mine. He ultimately belongs to Jesus, and this week has been a good reminder to love my boys well while I have them.
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